


the worst

by lourex



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bi Matt, F/F, F/M, Group chat, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Lance is a bi mess, M/M, Memes, PINING KEITH, This Is STUPID, Vines, a lot of cussing, adam deserved better, adam is savage, aint got time for no hetero bs, also gay, bet everyones happy too, but they got eachothers backs, demi shay, everyone is lgbt+ basically, gay broganes, google how do i tag?, he definitely does NOT get it from shiro, keith is an edgy boi, lances fingers are too long to text, madashi??, matt is a pining mess, nah but fr, now he’s just salty at the world, or should i say brogaynes, pining lance, rip english language, she will be missed, so many vine references, the gay adoptive brothers will rule the world, the heathen, unironically uses fingerguns, whats the ship name for adam shiro and matt, why is this my contribution to the fandom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-07-03 08:47:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 23,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15815490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lourex/pseuds/lourex
Summary: lanceylance: LETS GOkogayne: BETlanceylance: 7ELEVEN SLUSHEES?kogayne: AND A BUNCH OF SHITTY GAS STATION JUNKFOOD???lanceylance: BET IM ALREADY GETTING UPkogayne: IM ALREADY OUT THE DOORlanceylance: GOODkogayne: GOODpidgeotto: oh thank god they finally left





	1. i think this may have been a mistake...

**Author's Note:**

> damn i was inspired to write a group chat fic at 4am in my fever delirious state forgive me yall-

**pidgeotto** has added **adamnshame** , **alluring** , **hunkindonuts** , **kogayne** , **lanceylance** , **mattress** , **romeme** , **shayaway** and **t.shirogane** to **Unnamed Chat**

 **lanceylance** has named the chat **IVE HEARD RUMORS THAT THIS CHAT IS HAUNTED** **  
**  
**alluring:** ...what?  
  
**hunkindonuts:** no  
  
**hunkindonuts:** no, guys we are NOT doing this again  
  
**mattress:** (gaysp) really? this chat is haunted??  
  
**lanceylance:** ye, apprently smoe grrl diend heere wen she was liek 9  
  
**pidgeotto:** actually im eleven so shut the fuck up  
  
**hunkindonuts:** i hate u all  
  
**shayaway:** i love u too, bby  
  
**hunkindonuts:** ajdisnshwks  
  
**pidgeotto:** disgusting  
  
**kogayne:** the only thing that died in here is the english language, fuck’s sake.  
  
**romeme:** im WHEEZINF-  
  
**lanceylance:** abkdsndb @kogayne i herd tou talikg shit abt me behidn my bck  
  
**lanceylance:** j wotn hestati bitch  
  
**mattress:** it wasn’t to ur back tho...he said it like right to ur face  
  
**lanceylance:** semantics  
  
**kogayne:** i dont think you’re using that word correctly.  
  
**lanceylance:** u got smth tof sya?  
  
**lanceylance:** Say it. Out loud.  
  
**hunkindonuts:** vampire  
  
**lanceylance:** this is why i love u  
  
**hunkindonuts:** i know  
  
**lanceylance:** uR SUPPSOED TO SYAG I LOVUE U VACC  
  
**kogayne:** inconceivable.  
  
**lanceylance:** THIS SIS SCYVERBULLYING  
  
**alluring:** u know we do it out of love, lance  
  
**hunkindonuts:** love u lance <333

 **shayaway:** im not even mad ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **shayaway:** ily2 lance

 **lanceylance:** shwisbsjneeh shurup im nt cruing u are

 **adamnshame:** Why is my phone blowing up?  
  
**mattress:** adAM MY ONE MY ONLY  
  
**mattress:** LIGHT OF MY LIFE, MOON TO MY SUN, THUNDER TO MY LIGHTNING  
  
**adamnshame:** New phone who‘s this?  
  
**lanceylance:** ajdiwnsiwnsjs  
  
**mattress:** wOW-  
  
**pidgeotto:** adam, ur my hero and i love u  
  
**adamnshame:** As do all Holts.  
  
**pidgeotto:** i take it back and ur dead to me  
  
**adamnshame:** May I redirect you to my username?

 **romeme:** @t.shirogane corral ur bf pls the chat cant take this much savagery  
  
**t.shirogane:** Knock ‘em dead babe.  
  
**lanceylance:** SOTHSIS WHEERE KEITHB GEYS IT FROM  
  
**kogayne:** no.  
  
**alluring:** yes  
  
**t.shirogane:** No.  
  
**romeme:** yes  
  
**adamnshame:** I can break this tie,  
  
**t.shiogane:** Think about what you’re doing here Adam.  
  
**mattress:** do it,  
  
**shayaway:** DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT  
  
**lanceylance:** DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT  
  
**pidgeotto:** adam, this is ur redemption arc  
  
**t.shirogane:** I will sic my little brother on you.  
  
**kogayne:** i know where you sleep.  
  
**alluring:** well i sure hope so since adam lives with u and shiro

 **hunkindonuts:** dont do it adam its not worth it  
  
**shayaway:** do it adam  
  
**adamshame:** Eh, worth it.  
  
**adamshame:** Keith definitely gets it from Shiro.  
  
**mattress:** ADAM!  
  
**pidgeotto:** ADAM!  
  
**romeme:** ADAM!  
  
**lanceylance:** u know she had to do it to em  
  
**t.shirogane:** What have I ever done to you?  
  
**romeme:** bc u fucking pushed me-  
  
**adamnshame:** Takashi you stole all the blankets from me last night and now I’m sick!  
  
**mattress:** how could u takashi  
  
**t.shirogane:** Matthew.  
  
**mattress:** sjsbwosmsjen  
  
**pidgeotto:** i think matt just died??  
  
**romeme:** nice one ron  
  
**alluring:** nice ron  
  
**romeme:** AYYYYYYYYYYYYE (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞  
  
**alluring:** (ᴗ‿ᴗ✿)  
  
**t.shirogane:** What did I do?  
  
**pidgeotto:** its time to pay our respects  
  
**pidgeotto:** f

 **lanceylance:** f  
  
**alluring:** f  
  
**romeme:** f  
  
**hunkindonuts:** f  
  
**shayaway:** f  
  
**adamshame:** F  
  
**kogayne:** f.  
  
**t.shirogane:** What did I do?!?

 

 

**IVE HEARD RUMORS THAT THIS CHAT IS HAUNTED**

**lanceylance** has renamed this chat to **3AM THOUGHTS**  
  
**lanceylance:** you ever hink how much wasier datinf peeople would be if theye had a tail that wsa wagging or not adter you daid something  
  
**pidgeotto:** what kind of furry shit-  
  
**romeme:** h-hewwo  
  
**mattress:** uwu  
  
**pidgeotto:** disowned-  
  
**kogayne:** was I supposed to understand /ANY/ of that?  
  
**kogayne:** and why the actual fuck are you awake?  
  
**mattress:** the question is, why aren’t you???

 **kogayne:** i,,,am awake.  
  
**pidgeotto:** stop trying to be deep  
  
**pidgeotto:** I CAN BE DEEP  
  
**pidgeotto:** deep as a puddle i can step in without getting my shoes wet, maybe  
  
**romeme:** lol  
  
**lanceylance:** roasted  
  
**kogayne:** ,,,  
  
**lanceylance:** aight i couldn’t sleep i guwss  
  
**lanceylance:** why teh actual dick are you gus awake?  
  
**lanceylance:** i ment to wr ite fuck but dick works too tbh  
  
**mattress:** course it does ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
  
**lanceylance:** yall hear smth?  
  
**romeme:** yall  
  
**pidgeotto:** SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK  
  
**lanceylance:** mmm tru tru  
  
**pidgeotto:** you literally always sleep??

 **pidgeotto:** like all the time?  
  
**romeme:** exPOSED  
  
**lanceylance:** why mus tyou always rAT ME OYT LOKE THIS U LIK FKN GREMLIN?!  
  
**pidgeotto:** its what she deserves

 **romeme:** u know we had to do it to em  
  
**mattress:** lol  
  
**lanceylance:** i cANNOT BELIEBE  
  
**pidgeotto:** lolololo really?  
  
**mattress:** lmao  
  
**lanceylancehas** changed the chat to **these fake hoes** **  
**  
**lanceylance:** so whatta bout yu @queef ??  
  
**kogayne:** no-  
  
**lanceylance:** welll???  
  
**kogayne:** no reason.  
  
**lanceylance:** that’s sus  
  
**lanceylance:** whatcha hidin there keithy??  
  
**lanceylance:** is it teh good stuff?  
  
**kogayne:**???

 **lanceylance:** yanno  
  
**lanceylance:** teh midnighe enternrainment  
  
**pidgeotto:** o  
  
**pidgeotto:** my fucking god  
  
**pidgeotto:** stop  
  
**mattress:** NO DONT STOP THIS IS SOOOOO GOOD  
  
**romeme:** IM WHEEZINF-  
  
**lanceylance:** the central hub for those lonely souls whose only means of comfort in this cruel forsaken place we call the land of the single hearted is their hand  
  
**mattress:** well that was extra as fuck  
  
**pidgeotto:** and no spelling errors?  
  
**romeme:** wait dont u have a gf lance?  
  
**kogayne:** you mean pornhub?  
  
**lanceylance:** mmm yeh i di beliebe that is whag i was implying  
  
**kogayne:** what the actual fuck lance.  
  
**lanceylance:** you arnt denyin g it~  
  
**kogayne:** i was not watching porn.  
  
**lanceylance:** mmmm then care ti tell us whay yu were doin at 3:37am??  
  
**kogayne:** fuck off.  
  
**lanceylance:** BET  
  
**lanceylance:** turnn on yuor location  
  
**t.shirogane:** It is four in the morning. Go to bed.  
  
**pidgeotto:** its not even 3:40 yet??  
  
**t.shirogane:** Go. To. Bed.  
  
**pidgeotto:** goodnight!!  
  
**kogayne:** night  
  
**lanceylance:** ZzzzZZZZzzzZ  
  
**mattress:** pfff bunch of fake ass hoes  
  
**adamnshame:** That means you too, Matthew.  
  
**mattress:** zzZZZZZZzzZzzZZZZz zzz sorry cant hear you too busy sleeping zzzZZZzzzZZzZzzzz  
  
**alluring:** this chat was a mistake.


	2. the tiddy dudes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pidge is not a morning person, keith and lance decide to skip school together, shiro had a “phase” and hunk is no longer mr. nice guy

**these fake hoes**

**alluring:** gooooOOD MORNING EVERYONE!

 **mattress** has renamed the chat to **it’s a monday**

 **romeme:** why not?? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **mattress:** it’s a monday ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **pidgeotto:** whY WOULD YOU WAKE ME UP

 **alluring:** wtf? ur still not up?

 **pidgeotto:** WHY would i be up at this ungodly hour and WHY would you wake me up

 **adamnshame:** It’s 6am.

 **pidgeotto:** ungodly

 **alluring:** mmmmm. Not sure.

 **alluring:** maybe bc u have school.

 **alluring:** maybe because I was bored?

 **romeme:** maybe its Maybelline

 **pidgeotto:** you are so petty

 **alluring:** :)

 **t.shirogane:**  Why is my phone blowing up with messages? I don’t have to be up for hours.

 **alluring:**  early worm catches the bird

 **alluring:** wait

 **t.shirogane:** No-

 **alluring:** ….bet

 **romeme:** hsiwbshsksnsjs

 **mattress:** sCREENSHOT

 **alluring:** isnsisndjdjsb nO SHUT UP ITS TOO EARLY TO FUNCTION

 **pidgeotto:** oh worm?

 **mattress:** oh bird?*

 **romeme:** was that a double pun inside of a meme?

 **mattress:** mayhaps (⌐■_■)

 **romeme:** if i wasn’t gay af and in a devoted relationship with allura i would marry the heck out of u rn

 **mattress:** and if i wasn’t devoted to my wonderful future husbands i would accept.

 **adamnshame:**?? You’re dating somebody?

 **mattress:** no

 **adamnshame:** Oh.

 **romeme:** allura…

 **alluring:** i know hon, i know

 **t.shirogane:** Well...

 **t.shirogane:** Time to wake Keith up in the most obnoxious way possible.

 **alluring:** dump water on his head.

 **pidgeotto:** begone demon

 **romeme:** there will be no such slander against my wonderful gf pls and ty

 **kogayne:** i’m already up.

 **mattress:** plot twist, Keith is awake.

 **romeme:** bum bum BUMMMMMM

 **t.shirogane:** My brother? Awake at this time?

 **kogayne:** you guys are assuming I even went to bed in the first place

 **t.shirogane:** Keith. Did you not sleep at all?

 **kogayne:** you’re not my real dad.

 **t.shirogane:** Keith.

 **mattress:**  ooof that makes me want to spill all /my/ secrets and he’s not even talking to me

 **kogayne:** well would you look at the time.

 **kogayne:**  sorry bro i gotta get ready for school.

 **t.shirogane:** You can’t run from this conversation, Keith.

 **t.shirogane:** We live together.

 **kogayne:** ew don’t remind me.

 **pidgeotto:** nnNNNNNNNN forget it

 **pidgeotto:** i cant go back to bed now even if i tried  
  
**kogayne:**?? were you not gonna go to school or smth?

 **pidgeotto:** i live like ten minuets away from the school i can walk

 **mattress:** its always fun to try and not hit high school kids w ur car on your way to work so early in the morning :))

 **adamnshame:** Not like you don’t try.

 **mattress:** why? are?? u??? like?? this?

 **pidgeotto:** smh i dont need to be up for like another hour and a half ughHHHHH ALLURA YOU SUCK

 **alluring:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **romeme:** the Holts are suffering™

 **adamnshame:** It’s what they deserve-

 

 

**t.shirogane > kogayne**

**t.shirogane:** Keith.

 **kogayne:** oh dang, you’re coming into my PMs this must be serious.

 **t.shirogane:** You didn’t sleep. At all?

 **kogayne:**  i slept a little.

 **t.shirogane:**  ...Well?  
  
**kogayne:**  it was alright.

 **t.shirogane:**  No-

 **kogayne:** ok ok i can hear your disappointed sigh from the kitchen,

 **kogayne:** but just know that somewhere, Matt is very proud of me.

 **t.shirogane:**...

 **kogayne:** it’s the first day of my last year at school. I’m allowed to be nervous.

 **t.shirogane:** Do you want to talk about it?  
  
**kogayne:** hmm, what are you proposing?

 **t.shirogane:** After work I bring home some Micky D’s, we talk and then watch some of your godforsaken movies.

 **kogayne:** i’ve got the perfect one too. :))

 **t.shirogane:** :)) Yay.

 **t.shirogane:**  So we have a deal?

 **kogayne:** what about Adam?

 **t.shirogane:** He’s got a cold and needs to rest anyways.

 **kogayne:** ok, cool.

 

  

**it’s a monday**

**lanceylance:** is tjere a raeson thag pidge ishere so early?

 **lanceylance:** like she lives rifbr next to the school butt she’s always lare and it’s ironic but iconic

 **romeme:** butt

 **pidgeotto:** dont be so fuckin dramatic

 **shayaway:** he /is/ part of the drama club tho

 **mattress:** nerd

 **t.shirogane:** You were part of the drama club too.

 **mattress:**  did i stutter?

 **pidgeotto:**  he’s also part of the jock squad and needs his rep-

 **lanceylance:**  sHUTT-

 **hunkindonuts:** lance has a point. Like, Pidge is always late?

 **hunkindonuts:**  I never understood how since you live so close and it’s not like you even try to get ready.

 **kogayne:** i always knew Pidge was secretly a cryptid.

 **pidgeotto:** this betrayal hurts most from u hunk

 **pidgeotto:** and its not my fault i dont wanna give up hours of MY sleep like you morons just to look good to school

 **lanceylance:**  thwn why are tou ehere so ealr y

 **pidgeotto:** i got bored ok? sue me

 **pidgeotto:** allura woke me up soooo early

 **adamnshame:** Maybe she should start waking you up early more often if it’s making you go to school on time.

 **mattress:** ^

 **pidgeotto:** okay matt being a lil rat is nothing new but Adam

 **adamnshame:** @username

 **pidgeotto:** u just threw away ur redemption arc asshole

 **pidgeotto:**  also, lance is late all the time, too!

 **lanceylance:**  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ whay can i sya

 **lanceylance:**  i liek making ann entranxe

 **kogayne:**  so then why are you here so early?

 **lanceylance:**  nyma

 **alluring:** wait the cheerleader?

 **lanceylance:**  yep

 **alluring:**  u play football and are dating a cheerleader?

 **romeme:**  sounds boring-

 **t.shirogane:** You were both cheerleaders?

 **adamshame:** Yes and then they eloped and ran away to join the drama club.

 **alluring:** we did not elope-

 **romeme:** i mean….

 **romeme:** *side eyes*

 **romeme:** i wouldn’t say no...

 **mattress:** mood

 **pidgeotto:** could u imagine being a cheerleader/jock

 **shayaway:** subtle

 **lanceylance:**  this is sldnader???

 **lanceylance:**  i wILL DNOT STNAND FOR THSI

 **hunkindonuts:** ur literally sitting hon

 **lanceylance:**  ND NOW MY BEST FRIEND HAS TO OUT ME LIEKT HSI

 **pidgeotto:** f

 **romeme:**  f

 **mattress:**  f

 **kogayne:** we’re not doing this again.

 **lanceylance:**  thanks u mullet

 **kogayne:** i just didn’t want to get spammed by the group chat.

 **lanceylance:**  slANDER

 **kogayne:** :))

 

 

**it’s a monday**

**lanceylance:** it is PIZZA DAYYYYY

 **lanceylance:** FUCK YES MY TDUDES

 **shayaway:** tdudes?

 **alluring:** tiddy dudes.

 **mattress:** did u mean: @t.shirogane?

 **mattress:** the t stands for tiddy

 **adamnshame:** He’s not wrong.

 **lanceylance:** nO AHDHJSJAHSJSJA

 **t.shirogane:** Why would you say that?

 **t.shirogane:**  I didn’t deserve any of this.

 **romeme:** im WHEEZING OMG

 **romeme:** allura ily

 **alluring:** ily2 sweetie (ᴗ‿ᴗ✿)

 **shayaway:** awwwwww

 **pidgeotto:** disgosting™

 **shayaway:** mmm gotta love the schools cardboard topped ketchup and slice of swiss cheese excuse for pizza

 **mattress:** ew its like im there all over again

 **t.shirogane:** You basically inhaled that pizza.

 **t.shirogane:** And after we’d all lost our appetite you inhaled our pizza.

 **mattress:** what did u gain from exposing me like this??

 **t.shirogane:** Revenge for the “tiddy” comment.

 **mattress:** was I wrong tho?????

 **adamnshame:** No, you were not.

 **t.shirogane:** Hon, you’re delusional from disease and need rest.

 **adamnshame:** And who’s fault is that, Takashi?

 **alluring:** smh shiro u blanket hog

 **hunkindonuts:** i cant believe you actually like the school pizza it’s an ATROCITY

 **romeme:** ok there Gordon Ramsey.

 **kogayne:** pizza in general is just gross.

 **hunkindonuts:** uh oh

 **lanceylance:** exCUSE ME

 **lanceylance:** PIZZA IS AMAZINF

 **lanceylance:** WHATS IS WEOGN WIH TOU

 **kogayne:** i dont like cheese.

 **mattress:** oh right ur lack toads in toddler aunts

 **lanceylance:** i just...donr even sndersgand you

 **kogayne:** that makes two of us.

 **lanceylance:** yOU WANNA GO

 **kogayne:** home? Kinda.

 

 

**lanceylance > kogayne**

**lanceylance:** bet lets go

 **kogayne:** what?

 **lanceylance:** hhhhhhh ok so

 **lanceylance:** u saif u didnt sleep and i dont think j slept either tbh. i was busy worrying abit sneior year ig, wby?

 **kogayne:** yeah, same here.

 **lanceylance:** ok cool cool cool

 **lanceylance:** well no noy really but,

 **lanceylance:** lets ditch?? if u want to???

 **lanceylance:** its te first day its not like were gonan miss much, yanno? my parents woukd ubderstand and so would shiro if u eanna leave

 **lanceylance:** if u wabt that is, no pressure

 **kogayne:** sure, where are we going?

 **lanceylance:** 7/11 slushies?

 **kogayne:** deal.

 

 

**kogayne > t.shirogane**

**kogayne:** im skipping school with Lance btw!

 **t.shirogane:** What?!

 **t.shirogane:** Wait Keith for real what?

 **t.shirogane:** You cant just drop that on me and then disappear.

 **t.shirogane:** Keith Akira Kogane.

 **t.shirogane:** You better be home in time for dinner and we are having our bonding time.

 **t.shirogane:** Be safe. Feel better.

 **kogayne:** i will. Love you asshole.

 **t.shirogane:** Love you too, brat.

 

 

**it’s a monday**

**hunkindonuts:** breaking news: lance and keith both stood up from the table and left

 **shayaway:** they been gone a while and we’re mildly worried

 **pidgeotto:** binch they aint coming back

 **alluring:** sooooo shouldnt one of u go check to make sure they’re not actually going to fight?

 **romeme:** yeah doesn’t keith have like five pocket knives on him at all times?

 **mattress:** (shudders) yes-

 **adamnshame:** I almost got stabbed a few times when I first moved in.

 **t.shirogane:** I almost got stabbed a few times when Keith first moved in.

 **pidgeotto:** so what ur saying is /dont/ hire keith as my hitman

 **t.shirogane:** No? That’s not what I’m saying at all.

 **alluring:** rip in pepperoni lancelot mcdonald’s

 **romeme:** showndienssj

 **mattress:** ajdhsidnsisb

 **shayaway:** f

 **hunkindonuts:** keith may have a knife but lance has pepper spray and that stuff is /effective/

 **shayaway:** he once accidentally set it off during class and the whole wing had to get evacuated

 **pidgeotto:** wait i don’t know this story?

 **mattress:** ^^^^^^

 **lanceylance:** bC IT IS A CURSD STROY

 **romeme:** were u lurking?

 **kogayne:** lance and i are not fighting wtf guys?

 **kogayne:** and i would definitely win-

 **lanceylance:** ^^^^^^^^^

 **lanceylance:** waIT NO U WOULDN’T-

 **mattress:** the day u expose urself is truly a sad sad day

 **romeme:** f

 **shayaway:** mmmm, bls explain what u two are doing.

 **lanceylance:** mayhaps we got slush at 7/11.

 **hunkindonuts:** i canNOT BELIEVE-

 **lanceylance:** ok yup u guts habe fun at scool keith and i are goijng to get kciked outta Walmart

 **t.shirogane:** You’re going to WHAT?

 **kogayne:** yOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD!

 **t.shirogane:** KEITH!

 

 

**kogayne > lanceylance**

**kogayne:** thanks.

 **lanceylance:** my name may be lance

 **lanceylance:** but u can call me aNYTIME (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

 **kogayne:** you just had to ruin it.

 **lanceylance:** soz not soz ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **kogayne:** cursed.

 **lanceylance:** so, are u reafy to fkn sleep?

 **kogayne:** as soon as my head hits that pillow i’m going to be out.

 **lanceylance:** awwww are u foing to snuggle up w kosmo?

 **kogayne:** what the fuck?

 **kogayne:** did Shiro tell you?

 **lanceylance:** no?

 **kogayne:** oh.

 **lanceylance:** waIT

 **lanceylance:** KEITH MULLET KOGANE

 **lanceylance:** DO U CUDDLE UR PUPPY AT NIGHT?

 **kogayne:** OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT? I HAVE TO GO AND BOND WITH MY BROTHER BYE LANCE HAVE A GOOD DAY!

 **lanceylance:** WAIT NO THIS CONBERAATION ISNT OVBER IM NTK DONE YET! KEITH!

 **lanceylance:** FIEN ILL JSUT ASK UR BROTHER

 

 

**kogayne > t.shirogane**

**kogayne:** IF LANCE ASKS I DONT SNUGGLE AT NIGHT WITH KOSMO

 **t.shirogane:** Hello to you too, Keith. I’m doing well thanks for asking. And you?

 **kogayne:** I DONT HAVE TIME FOR UR FORMALITIES SHIRO JUST DO WHAT I TOLD YOU TO DO

 

 

**lanceylance > t.shirogane**

**lanceylance:** IS IT TRUSE THAT KEITH SLEEPS WITH HSI DOG

 **t.shirogane:** It is completely true that Keith likes to snuggle up with Kosmo at all times during the day. Would you like a picture of them cuddling?

 **lanceylance:** AHDKALDHSLWBJ WOULD I?

 **t.shirogane** has sent (3) photos

 **lanceylance:** DHOANDISBDJSJS OMFG THAGTS ADORBALE

 **t.shirogane:** What.

 **lanceylance:** what

 **lanceylance:** OK THANK HAVE A NJCE DAY BAIIII

 

 

 **lanceylance > kogayne** **  
** ****

**lanceylance:** huehuehuehuehuehuehueheuehuehue

 

  

**kogayne > t.shirogane**

**kogayne:** WHAT DID YOU DO

 **t.shirogane:** Mmm?

 **kogayne:** DONT PLAY COY YOU ASSHOLE TELL ME WHAT YOU DID

 **t.shirogane:** See it’s this kind of attitude towards your guardian that makes me want to tell Lance you like to snuggle up to Kosmo whenever you can and send a few pictures as proof.

 **kogayne:** i hate you.

 **t.shirogane:** I wonder if Lance would like to know about your hippo named Yorak?

 **kogayne:** and i wonder what Adam would think if he saw your white hair phase. :)

 **t.shirogane:** :) Touché.

 

 

**lanceylance > hunkindonuts**

**lanceylance:** help? my crush m akes a nsty return pt 2!!

 **lanceylance:** aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **lanceylance:** HES SO ADORBALE AND SOFT AND SIDBWINSIWNDIENSHEJDJ WTF SMY POOR LITTLE HEART CANT HANDLE THIS

 **hunkindonuts:** oh boy….

 **lanceylance:** hUNK I THIUGHT I WAS OVER THIS? I THOT I WAS OCER THSI AFTER FRESHMAN YR??

 **lanceylance:** AND I HAVE A GIRFRIEND??

 **hunkindonuts:** u want me to come over w some cookies and ice cream?

 **lanceylance:** yes bls <333

 **hunkindonuts:** <33

  

 

 **pidgeotto** has added **adamnshame** , **alluring** , **hunkindonuts** , **mattress** , **romeme** and **shayaway** to **everyone except klance**  

 **pidgeotto:** so do we tell keith + lance we’re off school the rest of the week?

 **alluring:** what do u mean ur off school?

 **shayaway:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ school was cancelled for the rest of the week

 **romeme:** dang we still got classes thats bULL

 **pidgeotto:** sO

 **mattress:** let them suffer

 **adamnshame:** Awww, Takashi look. Remember when we were the losers who went to school when there was no school. :)

 **t.shirogane:** And somebody let us suffer. :)

 **mattress:** (innocent whistling)

 **adamnshame:** :))))))))))

 **hunkindonuts:** don’t tell them

 **shayaway:** hUNK?

 **romeme:** ajdeksniwndsi

 **hunkindonuts:** :) dont :) tell :) them :)

 **t.shirogane:** Keith made me watch Rubber again.

 **t.shirogane:** Don’t tell them.

 **alluring:** the world is ending

 **hunkindonuts:** :))))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: lance’s typos are 97.5% mine, the other 2.5% are my typos that i fixed-  
> next chapter will be the last chapter lance types with his eyes closed!


	3. matt’s secret uber page

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> klance snuggles, pidge is a smurf, matt and adam both love takashi, klance snuggles some more and smurf discourse

**it’s a monday**

**lanceylance** has renamed the chat to **who wanna funking die**

 **t.shirogane:** Me.

 **adamnshame:** No.

 **t.shirogane:** Dang-

 **lanceylance:** apPARENTLY WE DIDNT HAVE SCHOOL TODAY

 **lanceylance:** OR for the rest of the WEEK

 **lanceylance:** yet our supposed FRIENDS didnt tell us ANYTHING ABOUT THIS SO NOW KEITH AND I ARE AT SCHOOL

 **lanceylance:** LIKE TWO MORONS

 **pidgeotto:** wave to the camera guys >;)

 **lanceylance:** >:o

 **mattress:** keith thats rude

 **mattress:** u cant see me so i hope u know im flipping u off right back

 **kogayne:** *middle finger emoji*

 **romeme:** ejdbeidneknseoe

 **alluring:** just send the emoji-

 **kogayne:** no, I hate emojis.

 **alluring:** inconceivable

 **t.shirogane:** You keep on using that word.

 **adamnshame:** I do not think it means what you think it means.

 **mattress:** :o

 **hunkindonuts:** lance, i hope ur enjoying school :))

 **lanceylance:** :o that’s ur passive aggressive smile

 **lanceylance:** this was YOUR IDEA!?

 **hunkindonuts:** mayhaps

 **shayaway:** babe the bad boy vibe is making me really attracted to u

 **lanceylance:** mood

 **shayaway:** what

 **hunkindonuts:** what

 **kogayne:** what

 **mattress:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **kogayne:** ok but why was I dragged into this?

 **t.shirogane:** No reason.

 **kogayne:** Shiro are you fucking serious right now? You’re quoting Rubber at me?

 **kogayne:** THATS WHY YOU MADE ME GO TO SCHOOL???

 **t.shirogane:** Yes. :)

 **alluring:** so lance and keith, what are you two doing?

 **pidgeotto:** snuggling on a filthy school bench

 **adamnshame:** Are you Lance or Keith?

 **kogayne:** no.

 **lanceylance:** we are NOT DOING THAT

 **pidgeotto:** oh really now?

 **pidgeotto:** matt if u would do the honors-

 **mattress:** of course pidgey-

 **mattress** has sent (1) image

 **romeme:** awwwwwwwwwww

 **lanceylance:** nO

 **kogayne:** fuck.

 **adamnshame:** Yep. Definitely not doing that. Noooooo way would they ever do such an inappropriate thing.

 **kogayne:** Adam i’m going to stab you when i get home.

 **mattress:** please dont stab the love of my life

 **t.shirogane:** Sometimes I feel like a third wheel in this relationship.

 **mattress:** :’(

 **adamnshame:** I love you, Takashi.

 **mattress:** i too love u takashi uwu

 **t.shirogane:** sidneisneieneine you two cant just gang up on me and SAY that

 **pidgeotto:** disgusting

 **shayaway:** i think its sweet

 **kogayne:** gross

 **alluring:** keith ur snuggling lance on a filthy park bench right now.

 **kogayne:** and what about it, Allura??

 **hunkindonuts:** he’s not denying it the world is ending-

 **shayaway:** :o

 **kogayne:** really?

 **romeme:** so why are u two snuggling on a filthy school bench?

 **lanceylance:** im tired and keith is really comfy

 **kogayne:** he started it.

 **lanceylance:** hEY

 **pidgeotto:** are u sure about that?

 **pidgeotto:** are u 100% suuuuuuuuure that thats what happened keith

 **romeme:** :0

 **mattress:** ew what is that

 **romeme:** :0

 **mattress:** ew stop

 **pidgeotto:** keith wait what are u doing wHERE ARE U GOING

 **mattress:** awwwwww

 **hunkindonuts:** what? what did he do?

 **pidgeotto:** he got up and started to leave

 **mattress:** but lance grabbed his wrist and pulled him back

 **pidgeotto:** so keith just picks lance up and leaves with him

 **shayaway:** :o

 **hunkindonuts:** how loud did he scream?

 **mattress:** we only have visual not audio but it looks p loud

 **pidgeotto:** lance is holding on for dear life as keith walks away

 **mattress** has sent (1) video

 **mattress:** ima just grab my stuff and leave

 **romeme:** excuse me please

 **pidgeotto:** fuck this shit im out

 **hunkindonuts:** shiro they’re gonna do the thing...

 **t.shirogane:** (Sighs) Yep.

 **adamnshame:**???? 

 **mattress:**?????

 **alluring:** well now i want romelle to carry me like that-

 **romeme:** only if u promise to hold on like that ;)

 **pidgeotto:** why did i think creating a gc full of pining losers and couples would be fun?

 

 

**who wanna funking die**

**mattress:** so im sitting there

 **mattress:** bbq sauce on my tiddies 

 **romeme:** (wheeze)

 **mattress:** when lance and keith run past me and go upstairs

 **mattress:** and then pidge, lance and keith all start screaming then silence...should i call an ambulance?

 **pidgeotto:** lance im going to fucking deck u

 **pidgeotto:** im going to make ur life miserable

 **pidgeotto:** i am ur worst nightmare

 **shayaway:** awwww it’s like watching a lil puppy get angry

 **lanceylance:** no thank u

 **hunkindonuts:** i dont think thats how it works, hon

 **alluring:** what did u do to piss of pidge?

 **pidgeotto:** HE BARGED INTO MY ROOM WITH KEITH AND THE BOTH OF THEM WHIP OUT TWO CANS OF SILLY STRING EACH

 **pidgeotto:** BLUE SILLY STRING IS EVERYWHERE

 **pidgeotto:** ITS IN MY ROOM IN MY BED IN MY BLANKETS IN MY PILLOW IN MY HAIR IN MY GLASSES-

 **shayaway:** can i get a waffle

 **lanceylance:** THATS FOR STALKING US AND NOT TELLING US THERE WAS NO SCHOOL LOSER

 **kogayne:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 **pidgeotto:** IT WAS HUNKS IDEA!!!!

 **lanceylance:** HUNK IS AN ANGEL I COULD NEVER BE MAD AT HIM

 **t.shirogane:** MATT WHY DIDNT U STOP THEM

 **shayaway:** can i pls get a waffle

 **alluring:** can i pls get a waffle

 **shayaway:** :o

 **alluring:** :oc

 **mattress:** I WAS EATING CEREAL

 **t.shirogane:** YOU THOUGHT YOU HEARD KIDS MURDERING EACH OTHER RIGHT ABOVE YOU BUT YOU DECIDED TO CONTINUE EATING YOUR CEREAL?

 **mattress:** IT WAS REALLY GOOD CEREAL

 **adamnshame:** What cereal was it?

 **mattress:** cinnamon toast crunch

 **adamnshame:** Takashi you can’t blame him. Cinnamon Toast is really good.

 **adamnshame:** Love the cronch- 

 **t.shirogane:** BABE NO-

 **mattress:** THIS IS WHY ADAM IS MY FAVORITE

 **romeme:** THIS IS WHY MOM DOESNT FUCKING LOVE U

 **hunkindonuts:** if everyone could stop screaming pls

 **adamnshame:** I wasn’t yelling.

 **pidgeotto:** YOU STARTED THIS

 **shayaway:** HEY!!

 **lanceylance:** DONT U YELL AT HUNK

 **shayaway:** ^^^^^^^^^^

 **pidgeotto:** I LOOK LIKE A SMURF

 **alluring:** you look like a beautiful smurf

 **pidgeotto:** ew 

 **alluring:** >:o

  

 

**lanceylance > olnymadreams**

**lanceylance:** babe i have a wonderful date plan for us today-

 **olnymadreams:** oh?

 **lanceylance:** yup ;)

 **lanceylance:** but i dont want to ruin the secret

 **lanceylance:** so im not going to tell u yet

 **olnymadreams:** i’m a little busy today, can i reincheck?

 **lanceylance:** yeah that’s cool!

 **lanceylance:** apparently we have all week anyways

 **olnymadreams:** mmmm, i don’t think so. i’m really busy this week

 **lanceylance:** oh

 **lanceylance:** ok yeah nevermind then

 **olnymadreams:** bye lance!

 **lanceylance:** bye

 

 

**who wanna funking die**

**lanceylance:** ALRIGHT I HAVE AN IDEA

 **pidgeotto:** oh no.

 **lanceylance:** ok RUDE FIRST OF ALL

 **lanceylance:** BUT SECOND OF ALL LETS ALL ORDER PIZZA + HAVE MOVIE NIGHT AT THE HOLT HOUSE

 **mattress:** wait what-

 **kogayne:** most of us are already here-

 **adamnshame:** By “most of us” you mean you and Lance?

 **lanceylance:** the holts are here too-

 **t.shirogane:** They live there.

 **kogayne:** >:o dont sass him shito-

 **lanceylance:** yeah shito!

 **t.shirogane:** (Sigh)

 **romeme:** pizza + movie night = happy romelle

 **alluring:** mood

 **hunkindonuts:** im down

 **shayaway:** same

 **t.shirogane:** Ngl, I’m starving and I’m tired of eating soup because someone’s been sick for the past three days.

 **adamnshame:** Rude.

 **mattress:** r00d

 **kogayne:** can we order something other than pizza?

 **pidgeotto:** ahahahahahahahah

 **pidgeotto:** no.

 **alluring:** no

 **romeme:** nooooooooo

 **shayaway:** :’(

 **kogayne:** >:o rude-

 **lanceylance:** H A H A H A !

 **kogayne:** I JUST DEFENDED YOU!

 **lanceylance:** NOPE DONT REMEMBER DIDNT HAPPEN

 **kogayne:** fuck off.

 **lanceylance:** THEMS FIGHTIN WORDS

 **hunkindonuts:**...did...did u turn Texan?

 **lanceylance:** shhhh not now bby <33

 **shayaway:** >:o

 **lanceylance:** SQUARE UP KOGANE

 **kogayne:** did yall hear sumthin?

 **pidgeotto:** yall

 **hunkindonuts:** why is everyone T e x a n????

 **mattress:** howdy yall howdy yall

 **romeme:** h o w d y  y ‘ a l l

 **pidgeotto:** ITS COOL KEITH I GOT UR BACK

 **lanceylance:** WHAT NO WHY

 **pidgeotto:** THIS IS REVENGE FOR MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A SMURF

 **mattress:** u make a beautiful smurfette

 **shayaway:** is it because shes short?

 **pidgeotto:** fuck off im not short and everyone knows if i were a smurf i’d be brainy-

 **pidgeotto:** OH DISCOURSE: WHAT SMURF ARE U?

 **hunkindonuts:** i am handy

 **lanceylance:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **t.shirogane:** Lance no-

 **lanceylance:** ( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡°)

 **mattress:** vanity smurf-

 **pidgeotto:** ud have to have actual achievements or good looks to be vain about urself

 **adamnshame:** I think Matt is a very attractive, smart man.

 **adamnshame:** You’re just mean.

 **romeme:** wait did he just-

 **pidgeotto:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **lanceylance:** ohohoho

 **hunkindonuts:** what is happening-

 **romeme:** why is no one talking about the fact that adam memed?

 **romeme:** TWO (2) TIMES IN ONE (1) DAY

 **romeme:** I WAS WILLING TO LET IT SLIDE THE FIRST TIME BUT NOT AGAIN

 **alluring:** its ok sweets

 **mattress:** fheirbjerbejj THANK U ADAM

 **adamnshame:** You’re still not Vanity, though 

 **pidgeotto:** H A

 **mattress:** FINE THEN WHAT SMURF AM I

 **shayaway:** clumsy

 **lanceylance:** clumsy smurf

 **hunkindonuts:** clumsy

 **alluring:** clumsy smurf

 **romeme:** clumsy

 **t.shirogane:** Clumsy.

 **adamnshame:** All of the above.

 **pidgeotto:** yes

 **mattress:** nAME ONE TIME

 **alluring:** u climbed up to my apartment window, tried to sneak in and then fell from the the second story window and into a poison ivy bush

 **pidgeotto:** last year u got drunk and tried to jump off 7 trampolines into the pook, fell and needed stitches and thus the scar on ur cheek

 **hunkindonuts:** u tried to make cookies and burned down half of ur kitchen and got second degree burns on ur arm

 **t.shirogane:** During prom you tripped during the picture session, tore your date’s wig off and fell into the glass punch bowl and cut yourself.

 **shayaway:** i got a text from you once and it was “fell off cliff. call ambulance. pls”

 **romeme:** u got stuck in a tree and we had to call the fire department to get u down

 **mattress:** i said ONE TIME

 **mattress:** AND I DIDNT SAY ROAST MATTHEW HOLT

 **t.shirogane:** We do it out of love.

 **adamnshame:** How are you alive?!

 **pidgeotto:** he refuses to die

 **mattress:** uwu

 **t.shirogane:** I don’t think that’s how that works?

 **mattress:** CAME FOR A GOOD TIME NOT A LONG TIME

 **lanceylance:** my motto

 **hunkindonuts:** what’s a motto?

 **lanceylance:** nothing whats a motto with you

 **hunkindonuts:** AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYE (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

 **lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYE

 **lanceylance:** N E WAYS im hefty smurf

 **kogayne:** fuck off you’re Jokey Smurf. 

 **lanceylance:** aww you think im funny~

 **kogayne:** as if.

 **lanceylance:** SURE WHATEVER YOU SAY GARGAMEL

 **kogayne:** I AM NOT GARGAMEL!

 **shayaway:** yeah hes Grouchy Smurf

 **hunkindonuts:** really? i thought that was adam

 **adamnshame:**  I thought so too.

 **kogayne:** I AM NOT GROUCHY!

 **t.shirogane:** Yes, you are.

 **alluring:** are we seriously starting discourse over smurfs?

 **pidgeotto:** yes

 **alluring:** cool i’m Sassette Smurf.

 **lanceylance:** who tf is that

 **romeme:** smh fake fan.

 **shayaway:** the red headed smurf

 **kogayne:** but you dont have red hair?

 **mattress:** but she got that bde

 **romeme:** i guess i’ll be smurfette bc im blonde??

 **shayaway:** awwwwww ill be tailor smurf-

 **lanceylance:** wait no-

 **lanceylance:** i wanna be tailor smurf-

 **pidgeotto:** let me guess: bc of how u thread the needle

 **lanceylance:** ….no

 **shayaway:** throwback to when keith thought lance’s name was taylor

 **lanceylance:** what-

 **mattress:** OH GET EXPOSED

 **kogayne:** i have a pocket knife collection Shay.

 **kogayne:** would you like to see it? :)

 **hunkindonuts:** dont threaten my queen

 **shayaway:** no thank u

 **shayaway:** awwww hunk <33

 **pidgeotto:** disgosting

 **lanceylance:** keith u thought my name was taylor???

 **t.shirogane:** You’re all such dorks.

 **t.shirogane:** Anyways /I’m/ Hefty Smurf.

 **kogayne:** whatever you say papa smurf.

 **t.shirogane:** Why would you do this to me?

 **romeme:** u are my dad

 **shayaway:** ur my dad!

 **romeme:** boogie woogie woogie woogie

 **mattress:** d….d…

 **alluring:** :o he’s trying to say his first words

 **mattress:** daddy

 **pidgeotto:** this is why mom doesnt fucking love u

 **adamnshame:** Oh my god.

 **t.shirogane:** No.

 **adamnshame:** Oh my god-

 **mattress:** and sorry not sorry but adam is hefty-

 **alluring:** back to movie night!!! Matt is your house going to be the designated hangout?

 **mattress:** appARENTLY

 **alluring:** my dads are out for the night on a date so i could always host a get together for a change.

 **lanceylance:** nope keith and i are already at the holt house

 **kogayne:** i don’t feel like moving.

 **t.shirogane:** Are you snuggling Lance again?

 **kogayne:** no i’m nrbeieneoenene

 **lanceylance:** *middle finger emoji*

 **adamnshame:** Did they switch phones?

 **pidgeotto:** no lance just flopped on keith-

 **romeme:** pics or it didnt happen

 **pidgeotto** has sent (1) photo

 **alluring:** saved for future blackmail purposes

 **mattress:** IM ORDERING PIZZA WHATCHYALL WANT

 **shayaway:** veggie!!

 **romeme:** pineapple

 **hunkindonuts:** no

 **pidgeotto:** what the fuck romelle

 **t.shirogane:** No!

 **romelle:** :(

 **adamnshame:** Meat lover’s pizza.

 **lanceylance:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **pidgeotto:** just bc ur all gay does NOT mean i have to listen to ur dumb sexual innuendos-

 **romeme:** wait isnt hunk straight?

 **lanceylance:** (wheeze)

 **hunkindonuts:** no im pan uwu

 **romeme:** :o

 **shayaway:** beautiful boi-

 **pidgeotto:** wait so none of us are cishet?

 **pidgeotto:** there’s 9 of us here yet none of us are cishet??

 **t.shirogane:** We really do travel in packs-

 **adamnshame:** You should see his face. He has sparkles in his eyes.

 **mattress:** :o those that gay together stay together

 **lanceylance:** shdiendiensosk

 **kogayne:** no-

 **pidgeotto:** i hate u

 **alluring:** so i’ll bring drinks?

 **mattress:** i will bring anyone and if they need a ride

 **romeme:** uber??

 **mattress:** i am no longer offering rides

 **lanceylance:** well thats not going to look good on ur uber page

 **shayaway:** smh

 **mattress:** WHY WOULD YOU GANG UP ON ME LIKE THIS

 **t.shirogane:** Why not?

 **mattress:** adjaleosnsbaimejdjsk

 **adamnshame:** I think you broke him.

 **pidgeotto:** rip in pepperoni

 **lanceylance:** thats not gonna look good on his uber page either

 **hunkindonuts:** does he actually have an uber page?

 **lanceylance:** yes

 **mattress:** n o

 **romeme:**...

 **pidgeotto:** i can break this tie

 **hunkindonuts:** not this again-

 **pidgeotto** sent (1) link

 **pidgeotto:** he totally does

 **mattress:** gremlin

 **pidgeotto:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **mattress:** ok so we all meet up at my house at 8?

 **adamnshame:** Sounds good Matt.

 **lanceylance:** YEET MOVIE NIGHT + PIZZA PARTY

 

 

**lanceylance > hunkindonuts**

**lanceylance:** i snuggled him

 **hunkindonuts:** i saw lance

 **lanceylance:** he snuggled BACK

 **hunkindonuts:** i saw that too lance

 **lanceylance:** i’m reaaaaaaaaally happy hunk i just

 **lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **hunkindonuts:** im happy for u buddy

 **hunkindonuts:** but what about nyma?

 **lanceylance:** mmmmmmmm no thinking about nyma for the rest of the day pls and thank

 **lanceylance:** besides you and i snuggle all the time (ᴗ‿ᴗ✿)

 **hunkindonuts:** yeah but u dont have a crush on me

 **lanceylance:** mayhaps i did once upon a time u hunky man u ;)

 **hunkindonuts:** wait what

 **lanceylance:** yeeeeeeeup

 **lanceylance:** but i had my platonic love and romantic love mixed up so we’re cool uwu

 **hunkindonuts:** awwww love u bro <3

 **lanceylance:** <33

 

 

**kogayne > t.shirogane**

**kogayne:** hhhhhhhhhh it’s not fair

 **kogayne:** hes so cute and soft and a really nice hugger.

 **kogayne:** but hes t a k e n and he snuggles hunk allllll the time so it’s not like it means anything.

 **kogayne:** shiro what do i do. :((

 **t.shirogane:** Go pine to Adam.

 **kogayne:** ur the worst shiro

 **kogayne:** unBLOCK ME U ASSHOLE

 

 

**hunkindonuts > t.shirogane**

**hunkindonuts:** did he do the thing?

 **t.shirogane** has sent (1) photo

 **hunkindonuts:** (shudders)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do shiro and adam think matt’s flirting is serious? no  
> do they wish it was serious?? oof yea  
> is matt’s flirting serious? oh yeah, definitely


	4. c’mon keith, adam just wants it that way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> adam’s cold gets worse, keith doesn’t like the backstreet boys, a little DND and someone’s starting some drama *side eyes emoji*

**who wanna funking die**

**kogayne** has renamed the chat **conspiracy: shiro and adam replaced by clones**

 **mattress:** no- that title

 **mattress:** its too long

 **mattress:** wait-

 **romeme:** screenshot

 **pidgeotto:** finally keith, some good fuckin food

 **hunkindonuts:** its like 3am man

 **kogayne:** yeah.

 **kogayne:** so then can someone tell me why adam is screaming the lyrics to i want it that way?

 **mattress:** oh wowie, aint he perf?

 **romeme:** vids or it didn’t happen!

 **kogayne** has sent (1) video

 **mattress:** :o

 **romeme:** photoshop

 **hunkindonuts:** it’s audio

 **pidgeotto:** edited

 **hunkindonuts:** why are so many of you awake?

 **mattress:** why are /you/ awake?

 **hunkindonuts:** im not, good night!

 **romeme:** well then,

 **mattress:** r00d

 **kogayne:** oh yaaaaaaay shiro joined the singing.

 **kogayne** has sent (1) video

 **lanceylance:** hey keith

 **kogayne:** yeah.

 **lanceylance:** u are my fire

 **romeme:** :0

 **kogayne:** lance what are you doing?

 **pidgeotto:** he’s serenading u

 **mattress:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **lanceylance:** my one (1) desire

 **lanceylance:** believe when i say

 **lanceylance:** i waaaaant it that way!!

 **romeme:** or he’s just annoying u :)

 **kogayne:** blovked.

 **mattress:** blovked

 **pidgeotto:** but we are two worlds apart

 **romeme:** cant reach to ur heart when u say

 **mattress:** i waaaaant it that way!

 **lanceylance:** TELL ME WHY!!!

 **adamnshame:** AINT NOTHIN BUT A HEARTACHE!

 **pidgeotto:** TELL ME WHY!!

 **adamnshame:** AINT NOTHIN BUT A MISTAKE!

 **adamnshame:** Wait Takashi nowheiwjwowna

 **adamnshame:** wjd182hsj1&7bbwh

 **pidgeotto:** one down :)

 **romeme:** um…?

 **lanceylance:** TELL ME WHY!

 **mattress:** I NEVER WANNA HEAR YOU SAY!

 **lanceylance:** THAT IIIIIIIIIIII WANT IT THAT WAYYYYYY

 **kogayne:** i’m going to bed.

 **lanceylance:** GOOOOOOOD NIGHT!

 

 

**conspiracy: shiro and adam replaced by clones**

**alluring:** i can’t believe i missed a bop,

 **adamnshame:** We can sing it again!

 **mattress:** YES

 **kogayne:** NO

 **t.shirogane:** Adam please,

 **lanceylance:** YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

 **kogayne:** we are not doing this again,

 **adamnshame:** Why the fuck not?

 **romeme:** :0

 **adamnshame:** Hey Keith?

 **kogayne:**...what?

 **adamnshame:** TELL ME WHY not.

 **kogayne:** aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

 **t.shirogane:** (Sighs)

 **mattress:** adam it’s alright,

 **mattress:** keith aint nothing but a heartache

 **shayaway:** tell him why!

 **romeme:** it aint nothing but a mistake

 **adamnshame:** Tell me why...

 **lanceylance:** why keith never wants to hear him say

 **alluring:** that he wants it that way

 **hunkindonuts:** why did keith just headbutt the desk?

 **hunkindonuts:** oh ok nevermind

 **kogayne** has named the chat **fuck you guys.**

 **lanceylance:** fuckin bet

 **lanceylance** has named the chat **KEITH KOGANE’S MULLET SUCKS!**

 **kogayne** has named the chat **lance sucks**

 **lanceylance** has named the chat **and keith swallows**

 **pidgeotto** has named the chat **UR BOTH ON THIN FUCKING ICE**

 **mattress** has named the chat **h-hewwo uwu**

 **pidgeotto:** alright

 **pidgeotto:** raise of hands how many of u are secretly furries?

 **romeme:** (sweats nervously)

 **pidgeotto:** ok so romelle, matt and lance

 **lanceylance:** LANCE?!

 **hunkindonuts:** ur DND character is literally a furry

 **lanceylance:** ehowndoendiesm

 **lanceylance:** HUNK

 **lanceylance:** WE SAID WE WOULDNT TALK ABOUT THAT

 **kogayne:** ohmygod-

 **mattress:** nerrrrrd

 **adamnshame:** Takashi and I love DND.

 **adamnshame:** But he /always/ chooses a paladin.

 **adamnshame:** Then he gets pouty when I try to get him to change his mind when his character dies. Over and over again.

 **adamnshame:** It’s adorable.

 **t.shirogane:** ADAM!

 **lanceylance:** :o

 **mattress:** NERRRRRRRRRRDS 

 **pidgeotto:** matt’s character is a warlock

 **mattress:** dont u have to be a gremlin somewhere else?

 **pidgeotto:** no :)

 **shayaway:** hunk, i love u boo

 **shayaway:** but u deserve what im about to do

 **shayaway:** hunk has some kind of monk/cleric

 **hunkindonuts:** thats fair

 **romeme:** if we’re exposing people then allura has an elf archer

 **alluring:** are there any loyal hoes in this chat?

 **pidgeotto:** nah

 **alluring** has named the chat **cursed squad**

 **hunkindonuts:** oh that

 **hunkindonuts:** that’s beautiful

 **adamnshame:** We should all get together and play DND.

 **adamnshame:** Like now.

 **shayaway:** we’re in school?

 **adamnshame:** Skip school.

 **t.shirogane:** DON’T skip school.

 **mattress:** skip school

 **t.shirogane:** N O

 **lanceylance:** sorry dad

 **lanceylance:** but it looks like u’ve been...out dad’d

 **romeme:** out dad’d

 **t.shirogane:** /Dad/?

 **pidgeotto:** i thought we went over this??

 **t.shirogane:** /When/?

 **romeme:** after the smurf discourse

 **lanceylance:** matt called u daddy

 **mattress:** uwu

 **kogayne:** that’s something i didn’t need to be reminded of.

 **hunkindonuts:** sorry shiro but ur the dad friend

 **alluring:** ur also the oldest

 **t.shirogane:** I’m 26!

 **adamnshame:** Grampa.

 **romeme:** eboendiensie

 **pidgeotto:** adam has a grandpa kink apparently

 **adamnshame:** Oh.

 **mattress:** ur not going to deny it?

 **adamnshame:** Whether I have a grampa kink is for me to know and you to find out.

 **mattress:** /find out/ he says

 **alluring:** question: is adam ok?

 **kogayne:** does it look like he’s ok?

 **adamnshame:** r00d

 **mattress:** he looks better than ok ;)))

 **kogayne:** when i left this morning his eyes were crusted shut and he was covered in spit from coughing but go loose ig.

 **mattress:** beautiful boi

 **adamnshame:** Matthew stop, you’re making me blush.

 **mattress:** uwu

 **pidgeotto:** i regret ever making this chat

 **t.shirogane:** I think that’s just your fever, hon.

 **adamnshame:** You know WHAT TAKASHI-

 **t.shirogane:** WHAT ADAM!

 **adamnshame:** YOU SHOULD TAKE SOME POINTERS FROM MATT!

 **pidgeotto:** lmaooooo

 **hunkindonuts:** i thought he was getting better?

 **romeme:** stop ur lurking

 **romeme:** either join the chat or dont

 **hunkindonuts:** is it really worth my sanity to join this chat?

 **alluring:** why do u think i mostly just lurk

 **t.shirogane:** Hunk you’re a pure child. A ray of sunshine and hope in my dark times. The best. You’re my favorite out of the other demons.

 **t.shirogane:** But if you ever steal my branding again, I’ll have Keith shank you in your sleep.

 **kogayne:** no-

 **t.shirogane:** Because my brother is a no good heathen, I’ll have to murk you myself.

 **adamnshame:** Babe you’re being ridiculous.

 **pidgeotto:** yeah, he’s the ridiculous one

 **pidgeotto:** he wasnt the one telling u to take advice from matt

 **mattress:** thats offensive pidgey

 **pidgeotto:** @adamnshame

 **adamnshame:** Don’t @ me.

 **lanceylance:** i would be offended that /i’m/ not shiro’s favorite but its Hunk so i’ll let it slide

 **lanceylance:** but i am offended that you’re threatening hunk!!

 **lanceylance:** and i will nOT STAND FOR THIS BLASPHEMY

 **hunkindonuts:** shiro >:o

 **kogayne:** how long did you sleep for shiro?

 **t.shirogane:** Five.

 **alluring:** hours?

 **t.shirogane:** Minutes.

 **pidgeotto:** u lil hypocrite

 **romeme:** shdienodemksksejn

 **lanceylance:** OH HOW THE TURNTABLES

 **mattress:** SHIRO

 **mattress:** WHY WOULD U DO THAT

 **mattress:** UR SUPPOSED TO BE THE RESPONSIBLE ONE HERE

 **t.shirogane:** ADAM KEPT ME UP MOANING ALL NIGHT SO I HAD TO TAKE CARE OF HIM

 **adamnshame:** >:o

 **t.shirogane:** Not that I regret it or wish I slept more if it means you getting better and not worse,

 **t.shirogane:** BUT I WENT TO BED FOR FIVE MINUTES

 **t.shirogane:** (5) MINUTES

 **t.shirogane:** AND WOKE UP TO YOU SCREAMING BACKSTREET BOYS SONGS AT ME AND DOWNING COLD MEDICINE LIKE WATER

 **mattress:** ADAM!

 **lanceylance:** wow (but its that one vine-)

 **t.shirogane:** IM RUNNING ON FIVE MINUTES OF SLEEP AND SIX CUPS OF COFFEE

 **adamnshame:** (ᴗ‿ᴗ✿) (ʘ‿ʘ✿)

 **mattress:** i’m coming over

 **lanceylance:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **romeme:** ohohoho

 **kogayne:** oh for fuck’s sake,

 **kogayne:** there’s too many people in my apartment.

 **t.shirogane:** /Your/ apartment?

 **kogayne:**...our apartment?

 **t.shirogane:** No-

 **mattress:** i’ll stop by walgreens if u need me to get anything

 **t.shirogane:** Tissues and cough drops.

 **mattress:** im omw!

 **pidgeotto:** just dont bring any diseases home i live there

 **kogayne:** oh

 **kogayne:** oh no-

 **lanceylance:** right so keith stay away from me for the next few days bls and thank

 **lanceylance:** try not to miss me too much

 **kogayne:** oh no how ever will i survive?

 **t.shirogane:** Thank you, Matt. :)

 **mattress:** :)

 **adamnshame:** :)

 **lanceylance:** :)

 **adamnshame:** IT’S NOT FOR YOU

 **lanceylance:** :’(

 **t.shirogane:** I’m going to take care of Adam.

 **alluring:** good luck!

 **adamnshame:** Wait, I have a question.

 **pidgeotto:** oh this should be good

 **adamnshame:** I know we’ve all kind of been ignoring the situation at hand but it’s something that’s been on my mind for awhile now and I can no longer pretend that nothing has changed between us.

 **adamnshame:** Something that has changed between all of us, something that might shift the tide of our friendship as we all know it.

 **adamnshame:** Why is Lance no longer texting with his teeth?

 **pidgeotto:** hah, called it

 **t.shirogane:** (Sighs)

 **lanceylance:** woW ADAM

 **lanceylance:** TELL ME HOW U REALLY FEEL

 **shayaway:** i think he just did

 **lanceylance:** i dont need this sass from u

 **hunkindonuts:** dont be mean to the queen

 **romeme:** ayyyyyyyyye that rhymed

 **romeme:** do it again!

 **adamnshame:** Sooooo, we’re still going to just pretend nothing has changed?

 **hunkindonuts:** its probably for the best

 **lanceylance:** op sorry what as that adam?

 **lanceylance:** sorry i—hear—must—breaking up—me

 **lanceylance:** go—football prac—bye!!

 **adamnshame:** >:/

 

 

**cursed squad**

**lanceylance:** :( i got an ouchie

 **alluring:**??

 **pidgeotto:** (sips tea)

 **romeme:** i heard tea and i came a running

 **lanceylance:** i got shoved hard during practice

 **lanceylance:** and i landed funny on my ankle

 **hunkindonuts:** lance are you ok?

 **shayaway:** u didnt break it did u?

 **alluring:** yeah

 **lanceylance:** im fine its only bruised, i just need to keep off it

 **lanceylance:** but i cant believe my own teammates would do this to me

 **lanceylance:** im wounded

 **lanceylance:** my ailments shall never heal and i shall forever be crippled

 **lanceylance:** limping to and fro, hitching rides from my gf and friends

 **kogayne:** who shoved you?

 **mattress:** hmmm, shiro and adam are both asleep but i feel like someone should tell keith not to start a fight

 **pidgeotto:** yeah, and that’s going to be you?

 **mattress:** oh god no

 **mattress:** who volunteers to be the responsible one?

 **shayaway:** kick their ass keith

 **mattress:** ok so—not shay

 **alluring:** keith dont go looking for a fight

 **alluring:** lance probably told the coach/captain what happened and its been taken care of

 **alluring:** right lance?

 **romeme:** (sighs) look at her go

 **romeme:** isn’t she just precious? amazing? spectacular? the best uve ever seen?

 **lanceylance:** oof mood

 **alluring:** what

 **romeme:** what

 **kogayne:** lance, who the hell shoved you.

 **shayaway:** wow he’s serious he got rid of the question mark and all

 **mattress:** oh dang rip whoever shoved lance

 **lanceylance:** idk it was some random kid

 **lanceylance:** i dont know them

 **shayaway:** you dont know ur own teammates?

 **hunkindonuts:**...it was probably some new kid

 **lanceylance:** ya

 **alluring:** so im guessing you didnt tell coach then?

 **lanceylance:** i mean i told coach gyrgan i fell and he was nice and gave me some time to rest

 **kogayne:** you told him...you fell.

 **kogayne:** why?

 **lanceylance:** its football man, people get hurt

 **lanceylance:** no need to start unnecessary drama

 **pidgeotto:** lance not advocating drama?

 **pidgeotto:** more likely than u think

 **romeme:** yall seeing this?

 **mattress:** the simulation is glitching

 **lanceylance:** hardy har har

 **hunkindonuts:** awww dont pout buddy

 **lanceylance:** too late :(

 

 

 **lanceylance** has added **adamnshame** , **alluring** , **hunkindonuts** , **pidgeotto** , **romeme** and **shaway** to **no mullets allowed**

 **mattress:** FIRST!

 **lanceylance:** ok so i lied a little teensy tiny bit

 **lanceylance:** and hunk thanks for backing me up back there <3

 **hunkindonuts:** <333

 **pidgeotto:** (sips tea)

 **romeme:** :0 plot twist

 **alluring:** lance?

 **lanceylance:** it was rolo that pushed me

 **romeme:** :0

 **mattress:** :o

 **lanceylance:** but knowing keith’s impulsiveness and hatred for the dude he would have tried to shank him

 **alluring:** why are you telling us this?

 **lanceylance:** i dont know,

 **lanceylance:** i feel bad for lying because keith just cares about us in his own way but,

 **lanceylance:** i cant tell him bc of his history with rolo?

 **lanceylance:** but i needed to tell /somebody/

 **hunkindonuts:** do u know why rolo had it after u?

 **lanceylance:** he said something about me stealing his spot?

 **lanceylance:** so i guess he thinks i may take his spot as team captain?? which i really couldn’t care less about-

 **lanceylance:** idk its dumb highschool bs

 **t.shirogane:** What’s this? What happened?

 **t.shirogane:** Oh ok I see. I think you made the right call Lance.

 **lanceylance:** that would make one of us,

 **romeme:** lance :(

 **alluring:** i think so too, lance

 **lanceylance:** hhhhhhhmaybe we should move on main so keith doesn’t get sus?

 **mattress:** valid

 

 

**cursed squad**

**hunkindonuts:** lance im coming over with feel better cookies!

 **lanceylance:** OMFHSISNAON YES!!!!!

 **lanceylance:** HUNK COOKIES ARE BEST COOKIES!!

 **t.shirogane:** I hope your leg feels better soon Lance.

 **romeme:** ^^^^^^^^^^

 **shayaway:** get well soon! <3

 **alluring:** feel better lance <3

 **mattress:** gg no re

 **pidgeotto:** get well soon,,,jerk

 **lanceylance:** thanks guys! <33

 **kogayne:** <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’ve had this stupid song stuck in my head all week and if i must suffer then so shall thee-
> 
> also what’s this?? mayhaps some actual plot in this chatfic? mayhaps????? how does one actually progress in these things but also make it seem all naturale-


	5. the risening of adashatt, pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lance/nyma cuddles?, nyma has beef with rolo??, keef is sus, matt is really crushin hard ft allura and romelle and spider conversations

**cursed squad**

**pidgeotto:** lance tell ur girlfriend that people are trying to eat jfc

 **pidgeotto:** rEALLY?

 **pidgeotto:** WAS THAT REALLY NECESSARY?

 **alluring:** what happened?

 **romeme:**???

 **hunkindonuts:** lance and nyma are doing pro cuddling at our table

 **shayaway:** and then lance gave nyma a sloppy wet kiss after pidge told him to stop

 **t.shirogane:** Disgusting.

 **adamnshame:** Oh?

 **t.shirogane:** Whahdiw86ha7&

 **mattress:** my poor poor eyes

 **mattress:** i did not have to see u kiss shiro like that

 **romeme:** shuttup u loved it u kinky litter voyeur

 **mattress:** no comment

 **alluring:** el, why would u say that?

 **alluring:** and why do u /know/ that?

 **pidgeotto:** this chat is the reason why i’m fucking blind

 **pidgeotto:** this and also bECAUSE LANCE IS REALLY INTO PDA STOPPPPPP

 **shayaway:** why is nyma even here she doesnt have lunch with us-

 **lanceylance:** my girfin is worried over her boyf shut ur fucks

 **pidgeotto:** u only bruised ur ankle

 **lanceylance:** and it was a very traumatizing experience pidgey

 **lanceylance:** one of many many many football injuries

 **lanceylance:** they should rename the sport to foot-BAWL amiright?! (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

 **hunkindonuts:** oooooh, good one lance

 **adamnshame:** :0

 **mattress:** cursed

 **alluring:** i never thought i’d see the day matt thought adam’s cursed-

 **t.shirogane:** Maybe now he’ll stop flirting with my boyfriend?

 **adamnshame:** Wait no-

 **mattress:** bet

 **mattress:** shiro i’ll flirt with u instead >:^)

 **t.shirogane:** ahdheosnssn

 **pidgeotto:** never use that emoticon ever again

 **mattress:** >:^)

 **romeme:** are we all ignoring shiro’s keysmash,,?

 **hunkindonuts:** lance

 **pidgeotto:** hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 **shayaway:** STOP BEIN NASTY

 **lanceylance:** leT ME APPRECIATE MY GIRLFRIEND >:0

 **pidgeotto:** NOT WHEN UR GROSS

 **lanceylance:** IM JUST CUDDLING HER WHAT IS UR DEAL

 **shayaway:** keith looks like he’s about to throw

 **alluring:** throw what?

 **hunkindonuts:** yes

 **t.shirogane:** Lance, keep it PG and school appropriate.

 **mattress:** look who’s talking mr. “pda every-fucking-where”

 **t.shirogane:** Excuse? You were worse-

 **adamnshame:** Much worse.

 **alluring:** their history always confuses me

 **pidgeotto:** its a looooooooong story

 **kogayne:** ^^^^^

 **romeme:** can i get a uhhhhhhh, origin story?

 **mattress:** uhhhhhh the origin machine broke

 **t.shirogane:** Not today children.

 **hunkindonuts:** i read children as chicken

 **hunkindonuts:** and now i want chicken and not school food :’(

 **shayaway:** im surprised u still have an appetite with uhh

 **shayaway:** lance and nyma here

 **lanceylance:** suBTLY CHANGING THE TOPIC

 **adamnshame:** Real subtle Lance.

 **lanceylance:** what are you doing mullet

 **lanceylance:** just enjoying the scenery in the school cafeteria?

 **pidgeotto:** did you find a new cryptid?

 **adamnshame:** Please don’t get him started on that.

 **kogayne:** rolo keeps staring at us.

 **alluring:** really?

 **kogayne:** he’s been watching the entire time.

 **kogayne:** specifically watching lance and by default, nyma.

 **romeme:** ew what a creeper

 **hunkindonuts:** and now we’re all staring at him 

 **pidgeotto:** should i walk over 

 **hunkindonuts:** what no-

 **t.shirogane:** Pidge do not.

 **mattress:** do it pidge-

 **t.shirogane:** Matt. 

 **mattress:** :P 

 **alluring:** pidge dont 

 **romeme:** f pidge :’(

 **mattress:** f

 **pidgeotto:** too late nyma already left

 **shayaway:** lance what is she doing

 **lanceylance:** i dont?? know??? hhhhng 

 **lanceylance:** she saw us all staring and then saw rolo staring and then just left,

 **alluring:** what’s happening with nyma and rolo?

 **pidgeotto:** they both look mad, rip rip

 **shayaway:** theres a lot of whisper yelling

 **hunkindonuts:** ew people are looking and butting in

 **lanceylance:** i swear if another kid asks wots happen im going to scream

 **pidgeotto:** oh shit rolo is glaring over here-

 **shayaway:** the bell just rang so we’re leaving

 **shayaway:** lets go

 **alluring:** good idea

 

 

**kogayne > lanceylance**

**kogayne:** are we going to talk about how rolo has it out for you?

 **lanceylance:** whats there to talk about?

 **kogayne:** …? 

 **kogayne:** that ROLO

 **kogayne:** has a grudge against YOU 

 **lanceylance:** rolo doesnt have a grudge against me ur just paranoid 

 **kogayne:** no

 **lanceylance:** dont worry about it keith

 **lanceylance:** what about you?

 **kogayne:** me? 

 **lanceylance:** you went really quiet there buddy

 **lanceylance:** are you ok?

 **kogayne:** you think im upset because of rolo?

 **lanceylance:** and ur past with him

 **kogayne:** sure 

 **lanceylance:** sure?

 **kogayne:** its whatever lance, im fine

 **kogayne:** i gotta get to class, bye 

 **lanceylance:** yeah ok 

 **lanceylance:** im here if ever u want to talk 

 **lanceylance:** bye keith

 

 

**mattress > romeme**

**mattress:** HELLO MY WONDERFULLY PLATONIC WIFE

 **romeme:** HELLO MY WONDERFULLY PLATONIC HUSBAND

 **mattress:** no het tho

 **romeme:** hdheiej nO HET THO!

 **romeme:** so waddup?

 **mattress:** i have a um, a problem

 **mattress:** regarding shiro and adam,

 **romeme:** ur hopelessly in love with them?

 **mattress:** yeah that-

 **romeme:** and ur coming to me with this?

 **romeme:** why not keith or pidge?

 **mattress:** ughhh last time i talked to pidge about a crush she teased me for weeks

 **mattress:** and keith lives with both of them therefore he is TAINTED

 **mattress:** besides he already has his own pining problems

 **romeme:** true true

 **romeme:** alright, what about allura and i?

 **mattress:** oh

 **mattress:** sure?

  


**romeme** has added **alluring** and **mattress** to **how to end years worth of pining ft. adam shiro and matt**

 **mattress:** that is wayyy too long

 **mattress** has named the chat **matt has feels**

 **mattress:** perfect-

 **alluring:** awwWWWW MATTY

 **romeme:** AYYYYE IT MATTY 

 **mattress:** o SHID WHADDUP

 **alluring:** SO U WANT HELP WITH UR PINING PROBLEMS?

 **mattress:** YEAH

 **alluring:** YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PERSON

 **romeme:** YEAH SHE’S THE ONE WHO ASKED ME OUT

 **romeme:** AFTER MAYBE TWO WEEKS OF KNOWING ME OUTSIDE OF TUMBLR 

 **mattress:** right right u two met on tumblr- 

 **alluring:** SO MATT

 **alluring:** i want a backstory if im going to help you-

 **romeme:** yes a backstory-

 **mattress:** ugHHHHHH FINE

 **romeme:** YEET

 **mattress:** shiro and adam were best friends since the first grade and i started school early since i was such a smart boi, i was smaller and younger than everybody there,

 **mattress:** so they kinda just dragged me into their weird friendship group and we were the three musketeers all the way up until adam left in the sixth grade, 

 **mattress:** uhhhh, we might have kissed before he left- 

 **romeme:** mIGHT HAVE

 **alluring:** /MIGHT/ HAVE

 **mattress:** OK WE KISSED before he left and then it was just shiro and i through middle and high and this is around the time his parents adopted keith

 **romeme:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

 **mattress:** so i was around a lot bc keith and pidge needed to meet- THE HOLTGANE FRIENDSHIP WILL CARRY THROUGH GENERATIONS

 **mattress:** but uh, mayhaps i got a small crush on shiro at the time

 **mattress:** i tried dating other people to get over it so when college started adam came back and i was still going out with some girl from highschool

 **mattress:** and he and shiro got re-reacquainted and really close and then they were dating and i was the third wheel so i kinda just tried to drift away

 **mattress:** (also i broke up with my girlfriend since long distance wasn’t working out for either of us)

 **mattress:** BUT adam was done with the bs and talked with me saying he didnt want whatever happened between us to make everything awkward and weird and we all decided to still be friends no matter what

 **alluring:** oh wow,

 **alluring:** you know what polyamory is, right?

 **mattress:** yeah i uhhhh, looked it up back in my college years

 **romeme:** so ur down for it?

 **mattress:** down to date both adam and shiro? hell yes have u met them-

 **mattress:** they’re both really nice and smart and funny and attractive and adorable and hot when they’re serious

 **alluring:** alright there romeo

 **alluring:** ok so we know adam liked u once,

 **romeme:** i’d bet he still does tbh

 **alluring:** so shiro’s kind of the only wild card 

 **romeme:** yeah! so we poke around and see where adam is with the whole dating u and shiro thing 

 **romeme:** then we approach either keith or shiro himself and see 

 **mattress:** alright coolio cool cool beans

 **mattress:** i have to go back to work my break shift is over

 **alluring:** dont worry about a thing matt!

 **mattress:** well now im worried-

 

**cursed chat**

**kogayne:** can spiders hear?

 **hunkindonuts:** ohmygod its like the time lance asked me do pigeons have feelings- 

 **lanceylance:** dO THEY HUNK?

 **hunkindonuts:** hOW SHOULD I KNOW

 **lanceylance:** YOU SAID THEY DIDNT SO U LIED??? TO ME?? 

 **hunkindonuts:** IT WAS FOUR IN THE MORNING I JUST WANTED U TO GO TO BED 

 **kogayne:** HI IM PRETTY SURE I ASKED A QUESTION 

 **lanceylance:** THEY HEAR THROUGH THEIR LEGS

 **kogayne:** OH FUCK YOU

 **lanceylance:** BET

 **lanceylance** has sent (1) photo

 **hunkindonuts:** LANCE!

 **lanceylance:** JUST READ IT

 **hunkindonuts:** NO THERES A GIANT SPIDER ON THE PICTURE

 **pidgeotto:** spiders hear sound via leg hairs that bend in response to vibrations arriving through the air or through solid objects ie. a wall or the floor

 **hunkindonuts:** THANKS GOOGLE

 **hunkindonuts:** oh whoops caps

 **hunkindonuts:** thanks google* 

 **lanceylance:** why the question keith?

 **kogayne:** theres a spider just chilling on my ceiling

 **kogayne:** im wondering if he can hear my music

 **t.shirogane:** I’m not sure about the spider but Adam and I sure can.

 **lanceylance:** awwww is he listening to his emo music playlist?

 **kogayne:** no shut up.

 **t.shirogane:** No, actually. It’s his special playlist.

 **kogayne:** shiro shut up. 

 **pidgeotto:** i have a feeling i know what playlist he’s talking about~

 **kogayne:** no you don’t.

 **pidgeotto:** i so do :P

 **lanceylance:** well i dont???

 **hunkindonuts:** dont worry, i dont know either

 **t.shirogane:** Go to bed, Keith it’s 2am.

 **kogayne:** no ur not my real dad

 **pidgeotto:** so we’re not going to talk about how lance searched up if spiders can hear and then sent a screenshot?

 **hunkindonuts:** it’s only 2am weirder things have happened

 **t.shirogane:** Go to bed-

 **lanceylance:** nEVER

 **kogayne:** FUCK THE SYSTEM 

 **shayaway:** FUCK THE CISTEM

 **t.shirogane:** Where did you come from?

 **shayaway:** WOKE UP JUST IN TIME

 **hunkindonuts:** AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGH

 **t.shirogane:** I can already taste the chaos that’s brewing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof how long has it been? nearly two weeks? hhhhh my bad i went on an excursion with my school and i would put that into this story too bc it be like that but i dont go to school in america so idk how that works there rip- but anyways i had no time to write/post while i was away but i do have quite a few things in this fic i needa get done fest-
> 
> anyways BACK AT IT AGAIN with more group chat shennanigans, hope you like. thinks are getting a bit spice up here. is shiro right- will there be hella chaos next chapter? oh yeah. bet most of you can guess with whom too-
> 
> so what are all of your thoughts on nyma? im tired of lance being in an abusive/toxic relationship (especially when it comes to nyma oof) so i decided to change it up a bit. nyma isnt the “bad” guy in this fic ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	6. when the alarm goes off all hell breaks loose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hunay cuddles, ship names, C H AOS, light angst and then a fluffy ending to wrap the chapter up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for: panic attacks and mentions of violence throughout the thick of the chapter
> 
> not your thing and you just want to see some fluff? skip to the bottom of the chapter and read lance and keith’s dms-

**cursed squad**

**lanceylance** has named the chat **bored squad**

 **shayaway:** mood

 **hunkindonuts:** um r00d?

 **shayaway:** waIT HUNK NUUU

 **romeme:**...what?

 **hunkindonuts:** i am cuddling her but thats apparently boring :’(

 **mattress:** press ‘f’ to pay ur respects unu

 **mattress:** f

 **pidgeotto:** u

 **mattress:** >:0

 **lanceylance:** >:o shay! how dare-

 **shayaway:** nuuuuuuuuu its not boring bby i s2g

 **shayaway:** hunky ur cuddles are v v nice and warm

 **hunkindonuts:** aheieoenoednje

 **lanceylance:** can confirm with shay

 **hunkindonuts:** LANCE

 **shayaway:** he’s not wrong tho honey <33

 **hunkindonuts:** SHAY DHEJENWJEUE

 **lanceylance:** awwww he’s blushing thats adorable,

 **pidgeotto:** i have come to the conclusion that couples are gross :/

 **mattress:** shut up ur like 12

 **pidgeotto:** actually im 15 so shut the fuck up,

 **lanceylance:** watching hunay cuddle is making me want to cuddle too :(

 **kogayne:** yeahsbwjwkwwn

 **hunkindonuts:** op lance just flopped on keith-

 **t.shirogane:** Wait, who’s Hunay?

 **lanceylance:** its hunk and shay’s ship name

 **t.shirogane:** What’s a ship name?

 **romeme:** well when two people are in a loving and committed relation/ship/ or showing signs as becoming one

 **mattress:** is this the birds and the bees talk?

 **t.shirogane:** Oh my god- Matthew why?

 **mattress:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ no reason

 **romeme:** shuejegeiebeh matt- OK SO

 **romeme:** so people smush their names together and start “shipping” hunay bc they want them together or live them together

 **romeme:** so like allura and i are romellura uwu

 **alluring:** wait why does your name get to go first?

 **romeme:** wh

 **mattress:** allurelle

 **lanceylance:** allurelle!! y e s

 **romeme:** w h y

 **alluring:** because i t o p (ᴗ‿ᴗ✿)(ʘ‿ʘ✿)

 **hunkindonuts:** oooooh good one allura

 **lanceylance:** precious babe <33

 **pidgeotto:** allura i trusted u to be better than these heathens

 **adamnshame:** A poor choice, really. She pours the milk first in her cereal.

 **mattress:** WH-WH WHAGUWHUEH ALLURA! IN MY VALENTINO WHITE CEREAL BOWL-

 **pidgeotto:** im deceased-

 **romeme:** sadly its true

 **shayaway:** no way- a,allura?

 **alluring:** uwu

 **t.shirogane:** So Adam and I would be…?

 **kogayne:** a nuisance

 **t.shirogane:** Listen kid,

 **kogayne:** finish ur sentence o l d  m a n

 **lanceylance:** TOASTED

 **mattress:** GRILLED

 **adamnshame:** I thought you were supposed to be flirting with him?

 **pidgeotto:** adam /no/

 **mattress:** he so hot because he be grilled mmmm ;P

 **t.shirogane:** /Matthew/

 **mattress:** Takashi

 **kogayne:** i think i heard shiro die a little inside from wherever he is

 **lanceylance:** shiro’s kink is being called his full name

 **hunkindonuts:** LANCE

 **t.shirogane:** MOVING ON!

 **kogayne:** can confirm w/ lance.

 **lanceylance:** uwu

 **hunkindonuts:** NO KEITH DONT ENCOURAGE THIS

 **t.shirogane:** M o    Vin G     O n

 **romeme:** i think ur ship name would be adashi

 **adamnshame:** Oh. I like that,

 **alluring:** yeah but i think you’ll like ur next ship name better,

 **t.shirogane:**????

 **adamnshame:** Takashi and I aren’t going to break up any time soon I hope-

 **alluring:** no, ur not

 **mattress:** SO WHY ARENT U KIDS IN CLASS

 **alluring:** subtle

 **mattress:** shut

 **hunkindonuts:** we are in class but it’s blaytz’s class

 **t.shirogane:** Oh, that explains everything.

 **adamnshame:** It does?

 **t.shirogane:** I forget you didnt have Blaytz-

 **romeme:** thats so sad :’(

 **shayaway:** we dont ever really do anything in blaytz’s class

 **lanceylance:** hes the BEST

 **hunkindonuts:** oh yeah blaytz loves lance

 **hunkindonuts:** in a normal, healthy student teacher way

 **pidgeotto:** probably because they’re the same person

 **lanceylance:** i am my OWN person ty v much

 **alluring:** ur a very unique person lance

 **lanceylance:** stoooop ur making me blush

 **pidgeotto:** oH FUCK WHAT THE SHIT WAS THAT

 **t.shirogane:** Pidge we get that you don’t like affection but this is too far,

 **pidgeotto:** NO NOT THE CHAT YOU GIANT MAN BABY I MEANT THE FIRE ALARMS

 **t.shirogane:** Aaaand now you just made me feel uncomfortable in my giant man baby body.

 **adamnshame:** You have a nice bod babe.

 **mattress:** retweet uwu

 **t.shirogane:** Bei27n)$enakdheb

 **hunkindonuts:** I THINK I HAD A MINI HEART ATTACK HOLY HECC

 **shayaway:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 **adamnshame:** What happened? Other than the alarms going off,

 **alluring:**?????

 **shayaway:** the fire alarm’s went off and blaytz goes “there wasnt a fire drill planned today”

 **hunkindonuts:** everyone started booking it since its a real fire??

 **mattress:** is it?

 **pidgeotto:** we dont know but its chaos in the halls

 **pidgeotto:** if someone shoves me one more time im going to start bustin some knees

 **shayaway:** no one seems to know whats going on?

 **alluring:** where is everyone?

 **t.shirogane:** Where’s Keith?

 **hunkindonuts:** i dont,,,know? shay and i were dragged out of the classroom

 **shayaway:** lance might be with him?

 **adamnshame:** Uh-oh.

 

 

**t.shirogane > lanceylance**

**t.shirogane:** Lance where’s Keith?

 **lanceylance:** shiro si dont knkow whatb ton do ohmyfod

 **lanceylance:** hes rifht here with ame but hess ftreakng out

 **lanceylance:** i think hes havifb a apanic attavk

 **t.shirogane:** Lance I need you to calm down. Keith will be calmer if you are too.

 **t.shirogane:** Don’t touch him and don’t talk down to him, he hates that and it’ll only make it worse. Get him out of there. If he can't walk ask before you grab him and try to help him.

 **t.shirogane:** Talk him through what’s happening. Tell him you’re there for him.

 **lanceylance:** ok ok oko ooook hes clamign down a a little,

 **lanceylance:** wbeieoenei hes lenaing on me

 **t.shirogane:** Please don’t push him away.

 **lanceylance:** i wasnt goingto

 **lanceylance:** wait whays rhat

 **lanceylance:** uhoh sheio theres sno fire ogmMTFOD IT WA SA PLOY

 **lanceylance:** BAKC ENDTIEANFE

 **t.shirogane:** Lance.

 **t.shirogane:** Lance!

 

 

**bored squad**

**t.shirogane:** Where is everyone?

 **shayaway:** were outside with the teachers and other kids

 **t.shirogane:** Are Lance and Keith there with you guys?

 **hunkindonuts:** no?

 **shayaway:** i can’t see them anywhere,

 **romeme:** well, its a big school?

 **pidgeotto:** im tracking their phones and they’re still in the school

 **adamnshame:** Takashi what happened?

 **t.shirogane:** Keith had a panic attack and Lance was getting him out of school but he started screaming then went silent.

 **t.shirogane:** He said something about a back entrance.

 **hunkindonuts:** im omw

 **shayaway:** im going with hunk,

 **alluring:** pidge go find a teacher

 **pidgeotto:** on it

 **t.shirogane:** Adam I’m going to the school.

 **adamnshame:** Alright. I’m going to stay and get Keith’s comforts ready.

 **hunkindonuts:** rolo

 **alluring:** what?

 **shayaway:** rolo found lance and they’re fighting in the halls,

 **shayaway:** hunk is helping lance out im with keith

 **mattress:** how is he?

 **shayaway:** not good, the alarms and lights are still going off and i dont think its helping

 **pidgeotto:** teacher is on the way, i got the alarms

 **alluring:** shay can you record this for on ur phone for evidence later?

 **shayaway:** sure,

 **alluring:** good, dont get caught

 **adamnshame:** What’s happening with the fight?

 **shayaway:** most of the guys ran away but it’s still 4v2

 **alluring:** get their faces on camera if you can but be subtle

 **shayaway:** ohmygod guys hunk is kicking ass and so is lance

 **mattress:** our noodly boi can fight?

 **shayaway:** yeah it’s /scary/ and impressive and they look like theyve done the before should i be worried

 **adamnshame:** Hunk and Lance have probably gone through some things together. I wouldn’t worry though, they have each other.

 **t.shirogane:** How’s Keith?

 **shayaway:** hes...not in a good spot right now

 **shayaway:** ohahit teaxher snshwkw

 **pidgeotto:** update: i got the alarms off and the teacher and i just got to the scene

 **pidgeotto:** we’ll text you guys later

 **mattress:** stay safe gremlin,

 

 

**bored squad**

**t.shirogane:** Ok everything’s been settled now,

 **alluring:** is everything ok?

 **adamnshame:** Mostly ok.

 **romeme:** tea?

 **t.shirogane:** I told the kids to take the rest of the day off but what happened is a mess.

 **t.shirogane:** Rolo pulled the alarms to single out Lance and jump him in the halls. Nobody knew Keith would have been affected like that.

 **alluring:** why was he affected like that?

 **t.shirogane:** Not my story to tell.

 **t.shirogane:** Anyways, Lance fought back and then Hunk came to help—most of them ran off at that point. When the teacher came the last of them booked it.

 **t.shirogane:** Principle Zarkon almost gave Lance detention but Pidge pulled out school cameras and showed Rolo tampering with alarms and starting the fight so now he has detention for a week.

 **romeme:** keith?

 **adamnshame:** Keith has calmed. He’s resting but he still wants to go to school tomorrow.

 **alluring:** keith needs to stay home

 **adamnshame:** We can’t force him to do anything.

 **t.shirogane:** I think Lance is still going tomorrow too. He wasn’t injured too badly, just a few bruises.

 **t.shirogane:** Hunk is staying home, his moms’s orders.

 **t.shirogane:** And Pidge and Shay are also going tomorrow. So that’s that.

 **romeme:**...yikes

 

 

**lanceylance > kogayne**

**lanceylance:** hey uhhhh ur probably not gonna see this and u should be resting but uh,

 **lanceylance:** thanks for trusting me to help u, i know how panic attacks can be and they are. not fun. im sorry u had to go through that today and especially bc of rolo and his grudge against me

 **lanceylance:** thanks for telling me about what happened to ur dad, u didnt have to do that but u still did even tho u hate opening up. so thanks, i really

 **lanceylance:** it really means a lot to me keith

 **lanceylance:** i hope u feel better tomorrow (please stay home!!) <33

 

 

**olnymadreams > lanceylance**

**olnymadreams:** hey are u ok? heard u got into a fight with rolo

 **lanceylance:** yeah im fine ig,

 **olnymadreams:** you guess?

 **lanceylance:** im...fine yeah im fine

 **olnymadreams:** sure?

 **lanceylance:** yeah just spooked, promise

 **olnymadreams:** want some cuddles or anything

 **lanceylance:** nahhh im good, ty

 **olnymadreams:** okay okay fine lol did u win?

 **lanceylance:**?? idk? i didnt get detention so ig i did

 **olnymadreams:** oh, nice

 **olnymadreams:** so u know the upcoming football game?

 **olnymadreams:** plax is throwing an afterparty and she invited the entire school

 **olnymadreams:** do you wanna go?

 **lanceylance:** sure

 **lanceylance:** im going to rest im exhausted

 **olnymadreams:** oknight lance

 **lanceylance:** night nyma

 

 

**kogayne > lanceylance**

**kogayne:** <3

 **lanceylance:** dugeieneien

 **lanceylance:** its 1am why arent u /resting/

 **kogayne:** why arent you?

 **lanceylance:** …touché

 **kogayne:** so how are u feeling?

 **lanceylance:** a little sore but im used to it,

 **kogayne:** take a hot bath

 **lanceylance:** hah im in the bath rn

 **kogayne:** lance no-

 **lanceylance** has sent (1) photo

 **kogayne:** DONT SEND ME YOUR BATH SELFIES

 **lanceylance:** its just my face u dork :P

 **kogayne:** hsvsisnshsksb

 **kogayne:** hhhhhh think u can sit and read a long text?

 **lanceylance:** sure

 **kogayne:** ok so,

 **kogayne:** thank you...for being there for me. thank you for sticking by my side. thank u for being an amazing person. thank you for letting me accept you into my life. we may have been “rivals” at first but im glad thats behind us, really glad im just really, really happy laaaaaance

 **lanceylance:** keiiiiiith

 **kogayne:** shushhhhhh theres more-

 **kogayne:** i dont deserve someone like you. im messed up and i have so many problems. if i didnt have a panic attack then maybe rolo wouldn’t have found you in the initial chaos. maybe you wouldn’t have gotten into a fight. hes dumb if he thought he could find u in that

 **kogayne:** rolo is an asssshole god i hate him i wish shiro hadn’t pulled kosmo off of him when he tried to hurt me i wish kosmo maimed him

 **kogayne:** ill fight him for you. i will. i know ur reading these and laughing but i can take him. you dont deserve this lance ur too goooooood!!!’

 **lanceylance:** keith stop im crying-

 **kogayne:** nooooo dont cry you should never shed a tear unless its from laughing,

 **kogayne:** oh are you lauging at me? :’(

 **lanceylance:** keith its tears of joy

 **lanceylance:** im really happy you’re in my life too, keith. reaaaally happy. like WOW happy im happy

 **lanceylance:** i dont blame ur panic attack, i would never do that and i don’t think ur messed up, just a little flawed

 **lanceylance:** but in the wise words of hannah montanna, nobody’s perfect you live and you work it

 **lanceylance:** (she’s wrong btw i think ur imperfections are perfect-)

 **kogayne:** laaaaaaaaaaance

 **kogayne:** ur best boi

 **lanceylance:** KEITH ARE YOU MEME SPEAKING @ ME

 **kogayne:** uwu mayhaps

 **lanceylance:** ohmygod

 **lanceylance:** did u sleep at all last night?

 **kogayne:** not even a wink :P

 **lanceylance:** hdbeiejein heccin go sLEEP

 **kogayne:** noooooooo im not tired yet

 **kogayne:** and im still a little hhhhhh

 **lanceylance:** im still a little spooked too,

 **kogayne:** how are you soooo good at this lance?

 **lanceylance:** what?

 **kogayne:** being amazing

 **lanceylance:** oh i uhhh,

 **lanceylance:** i was born that way?

 **kogayne:** right right PRAISE mama mcclain

 **lanceylance:** KEITH AJDHSKDHSHSK

 **kogayne:** hahhhahah

 **kogayne:** lance can i facetime you?

 **kogayne:** kosmo is great but i just want to talk with someone right now,

 **lanceylance:**...ok sure,

_kogayne wants to facetime…_

_call ended. (0:05:34)_

**lanceylance:** goodnight keith, <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> klance has killed me. ohmygod i love these boys- i love klance so much i cry :’)
> 
> also, sleep deprived keith is soft keith with no inhibitions. i don’t make the rules-
> 
> i hope yall love nyma as much as i do and hate rolo after this chapter because oof, ya done goofed my blue/purple alien man, (shoutout to one of you for guessing my next plot point wow am i this obvious aaaaaaaa-)
> 
> next chapter will likely be uploaded tomorrow since it’s already done and just waiting there ;)
> 
> OK LAST THING SINCE THIS IS GETTING LONG!!
> 
> so this chatfic is really fun to write and it makes me happy seeing people enjoy reading as much as i am writing it! i was wondering how ya’ll would feel if i opened up a discord server for this fic where i could keep up with you guys, post little sneak peeks, get some help plotwise, get to know some of you, share things and have fun? its been on my mind since 4am today-


	7. gane wholesomeness and adashatt pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uh oh, allura confronts shiro, of the naruto running and the BEES, soft klance and gane family wholesomeness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> minor tw: keith has a bit of a guilty breakdown.

**bored squad**

**lanceylance:** ughhhhhh if one more person asks me what happened yesterday im going to scream

**lanceylance:** not at them cuz thats r00d™

**lanceylance:** but just scream in their general direction because its annoying and none of their business :(

**alluring:** chaotic good

**pidgeotto:** i’d start some discourse but im not in the mood to ughh

**pidgeotto:** ive been asked too many times about a fight i wasnt even a witness to-

**shayaway:** word got out that i have a recording and people want to see it

**mattress:** inch resting

**romeme:** f

**t.shirogane:** What about Keith?

**kogayne:** shiro im fucking fine

**kogayne:** i havent stabbed anyone, i havent felt threatened or endangered, i havent felt paranoid or panicky or on edge

**kogayne:** nothing has changed in the past five minutes since you dmed me

**kogayne:** stop fucking doting its getting annoying

**hunkindonuts:** woah Keith, he’s just trying to help you

**kogayne:** i don’t /need/ his help im not a child anymore

**adamnshame:** No one’s calling you a child.

**kogayne:** you were there this morning

**kogayne:** you’re telling me he didn't treat me like an incompetent child?

**kogayne:** but i guess you wouldn’t know since you were doing the same thing

**adamnshame:** Keith...you’re like family and I don’t want to see you get hurt again.

**t.shirogane:** I’m just worried, Keith. You’re my brother and I care about you.

**kogayne:** fuck im sorry i just

**kogayne:** im sorrye

**kogayne:** imagonaba goe shero sim oryr

**adamnshame:** Can somebody check on him?

**lanceylance:** i got it-

**shayaway:** lance ur in class

**hunkindonuts:** shhh

**mattress:** rip

**t.shirogane:** Matt, please. Not now.

**mattress:** yikes sorry-

 

 

**t.shirogane > adamnshame**

**t.shirogane:** Have I been babying him?

**t.shirogane:** Should I stop- maybe he’s right. Maybe I need to loosen my reigns or…

**adamnshame:** Shiro…

**t.shirogane:** Hhhhh I’m sorry.

**adamnshame:** What no. There’s nothing to apologize for. You’re worried about him and that’s what I love about you. You care so much for your family and for your friends.

**adamnshame:** I’m worried too but we both know how stubborn Keith can be.

**t.shirogane:** His father was the same.

**adamnshame:** Is that why you’re worried?

**t.shirogane:** Heith died, his mother left him when he needed her most and I was in a coma for six months after the accident.

**t.shirogane** I don’t want to leave him again.

**adamnshame:** And you won’t. I know you won’t.

**adamnshame:** He knows we’re there for him but we can’t force him to do anything. We’ll have to wait.

**adamnshame:** As a wise man once said, “Patience Yields Focus.”

**t.shirogane:** Hahhh, I’m not supposed to be laughing right now you jerk.

**adamnshame:** <3 Love you Takashi.

**t.shirogane:** I love you too, Adam. <3

**t.shirogane:** When you get off work please come home and cuddle me?

**adamnshame:** I thought you’d never ask. ;)

 

 

**no mullets allowed**

**lanceylance:** uhhhhhuh

**lanceylance:** keith fell asleep on me in the storage closet

**lanceylance:** so we may be late to blaytz’s class…

**pidgeotto:** ohoho?

**mattress:** that’s the gayest series of sentences ive ever read

**mattress:** and i was there for shiro and adam’s mutual pining

**t.shirogane:** Matthew, not now.

**mattress:** …

**mattress:** yeah im sorry

**mattress:** again

**t.shirogane:** How is he Lance?

**lanceylance:** you mayyyyy want to like, tell him you and adam arent mad at him

**t.shirogane:** But we’re not mad at him!

**lanceylance:** i know i know its just that he cried himself to sleep on me because he felt guilty for snapping at you two

**lanceylance:** now he thinks ur mad at him and that everyone else is grossed out by the way he treated u and adam

**lanceylance:** i told him no one feels that way but he’s a stubborn one

**lanceylance:** and his emotions are all over the place because contrary to what he said in the group chat, he’s been on edge all day

**t.shirogane:** Oh Keith...

**mattress:** does he need to be picked up?

**lanceylance:** he said no when i suggested he go home, so idk

**hunkindonuts:** dont worry lance shay and i will cover for u 2 in class

**shayaway:** do we even need to cover for them? blaytz probably doesnt care

**hunkindonuts:** we will just in case!

**lanceylance:** coolio thanks guys

**t.shirogane:** Thank you Lance.

 

 

**alluring > t.shirogane**

**alluring:** what’s your beef with matt?

**t.shirogane:** My what?

**alluring:** you called him out like twice publicly

**t.shirogane:** ...?

**alluring:** you’ve never done that before

**alluring:** you know he makes jokes to cope and if it’s really not the time you usually slurp into his dpms and and tell him to stop,

**t.shirogane:** How…?

**alluring:** i notice things

**alluring:** and ive noticed that you’ve never called him out like that so what gives?

**t.shirogane:** Allura I just…

**t.shirogane:** Don’t know where I stand with him…

**alluring:** now i’m confused,

**t.shirogane:** I had a huge crush on him since the seventh grade. I wasn’t...exactly subtle in my pining. I kind of confessed. But he didn’t understand or he pretended I didn’t and he got a girlfriend so I decided to stop and started dating other people before I found Adam.

**t.shirogane:** And now I’m dating Adam and I love him. So much. So I shouldn’t still be feeling things for Matt and…does that make me a bad boyfriend to Adam? If I have a crush on Matt?

**t.shirogane:** But he’s been flirting with both of us and I can’t help but get annoyed. I’m in a relationship now, he can’t just do this to me-

**t.shirogane:** I’ve just been so frustrated and maybe I started taking it out on Matt by accident.

**alluring:** oh you useless little gay boy

**alluring:** search up polyamory and tell me what you think

**t.shirogane:** Oh…

**alluring:** yeah?

**t.shirogane:** Yeah I. I don’t know how to come to them with this?

**alluring:** but you’re into the concept of being in a polyamorous relationship with them?

**t.shirogane:** Yeah. Yes.

**alluring:** then leave the rest to me (ʘ‿ʘ✿)

**alluring:** but under one condition though: no more taking your frustrations out on matt

**t.shirogane:** Deal.

**alluring:** unless its the good kind of frustrations ;)

**t.shirogane:** ALLURA

**alluring:** hurhuehuehuehueheu

 

 

**matt has feels**

**alluring** has sent (3) photos

**alluring:** one down one to go-

**romeme:** Y E S

**mattress:** sbejeoansbsiekenen

**mattress:** A L L U R A

 

 

**bored squad**

**hunkindonuts:** LANCE WE SAID BLAYTZ’S CLASS NOT EVERYONES CLASS WHERE ARE YOU

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAH IM SORRY I FELL ASLEEP TOO

**lanceylance:** KEITH IS JUST SO SOFT HOLD ON WAKING HIM UP NOW

**pidgeotto:** this is gonna end well

**lanceylance:** OW HE KICKED MY SHIN

**kogayne:** YOU SHOOK ME AROUND LIKE A RAGDOLL

**lanceylance:** WE NEED TO GO WE OVERSLEPT TWO CLASSES

**kogayne:** WHAT

**kogayne:** LANCE WHY DIDNT YOU WAKE ME UP

**mattress:** he did a gay

**pidgeotto:** he fell asleep on you

**lanceylance:** wow do u ever just hate the holts sometimes?

**mattress:** its a gift (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

**lanceylance:** HHHHHH NO TIME GOTTA GO FEST

**kogayne:** LANCE DID YOU JUST FUCKING NARUTO RUN

**lanceylance:** SHUTT YOU DID IT TOO

**hunkindonuts:** what is happening anymore

**shayaway:** i dont know,

**romeme:** i’m enjoying just lurking,

**romeme:** so is allura

**lanceylance:** SAVED BY THE BELL

**lanceylance:** WAIT KEITH SLWOTHHEISNS

**lanceylance:** wbsuwi287bsnak

**shayaway:** im so glad i recorded that entire thing

**pidgeotto:** OwO

**mattress:** and then they call us furries

**pidgeotto:** OwO send

**shayaway** has sent (1) video

**mattress:** ooooo that looks like it hurt

**shayaway:** theyre both just moaning and groaning on the ground

**mattress:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**romeme:** ohoho?

**pidgeotto:** OwO

**lanceylance:** we’re fine-

**shayaway:** ur limping-

**lanceylance:** i bruised my bruised ankle ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**alluring:** lance be careful please

**lanceylance:** only because you asked so nicely princess (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

**hunkindonuts:** on an unrelated note how many of u are going to the football game tomorrow?

**hunkindonuts:** you know, other than lance and i?

**shayaway:** i am

**pidgeotto:** as am i

**mattress:** no pyrotechnics pidge

**pigdeotto:** booo u whore

**mattress:** no pyrotechnics without /me/

**t.shirogane:** Matt...no.

**mattress:** you can’t tell me what to do ;p

**lanceylance:** if we win make there be blue fire

**mattress:** u bet ur lil bi ass i will

**alluring:** sadly romelle and i are swamped in schoolwork so we cannot attend

**alluring:** but we will be cheering you and your team on lance

**romeme:** retweet uwu

**lanceylance:** awww thank!

**t.shirogane:** Adam and I are coming.

**t.shirogane:** Keith do you need a ride there?

**kogayne:** oh um,

**kogayne:** idk if im gonna go,

**lanceylance:** oh,,,that’s fine,

**lanceylance:** its gonna be cold anyways and the other team sucks so yeah

**lanceylance:** how many of you are going to the after party?

**hunkindonuts:** i have to go home and babysit

**shayaway:** hunk is my ride. so...

**t.shirogane:** I have work.

**pidgeotto:** uhhhh bedtime-

**lanceylance:** wOW

**adamnshame:** I just don’t want to go to a high school party.

**lanceylance:** see thats fairdy fair

**romeme:** that sounds like fourty four if u had like a scottish accent

**shayaway:** abdheosnejeoen

**alluring:** this is why i love you elle

**mattress:** IM DOWN TO PARTY

**lanceylance:** AYYYYYE MATTY B (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

**mattress:** w H eRe s      t He BEE

**romeme:** according to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly

**lanceylance:** its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground

**mattress:** the bee, or course, flies anyways

**pidgeotto:** because bees don’t care what humans think is possible

**adamnshame:** Did you all memorize the opening to the Bee Movie or do you have a shortcut for that?

**lanceylance:** ye s

**hunkindonuts:** oh boy-

 

 

**kogayne** has added  **t.shirogane** and  **adamnshame** to  **gane family**

**kogayne:** im sorry for acting the way i did today

**kogayne:** i was annoyed and anxious and drowning in a lot of emotions at the time and

**kogayne:** and anger is usually my first reaction so i snapped and im sorry

**adamnshame:** Keith we’re not mad.

**t.shirogane:** I was just worried but I see now I was only making things worse by doting.

**t.shirogane:** You need some space and I need to trust you.

**kogayne:** i...yeah but

**kogayne:** i need a little push sometimes and it feels really nice to have someone care

**kogayne:** i love you shiro, you’re my brother

**kogayne:** and i shouldnt be pushing you away

**kogayne:** and adam you’re family to me and i love you too so i want you to know i appreciate you caring

**adamnshame:** Same to you, squirt.

**kogayne:** ok so enough mush-

**t.shirogane:** You’re coming to that football game tomorrow and you are supporting your boyfriend-

**adamnshame:** YOUR WHAT?!

**kogayne:** HES NOT MY BOYFRIEND SHIRO OHMYGOD

**t.shirogane:** You want him to be though ;)

**adamnshame:** YOU WHAT??

**kogayne:** SHIRO

**adamnshame:** WHY WAS I NOT AWARE

**kogayne:** NOTHING I GOTTA GO CLASS BYE HATE YOU

**adamnshame:** TAKASHI WHY WAS I NOT AWARE

**t.shirogane:** I see now how this has backfired on me.

**t.shirogane:** So take my very good, very clever excuse. I must go now.

**adamnshame:** WE ALL LIVE TOGETHER I WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS SOONER OR LATER-

 

 

**lanceylance > kogayne**

**lanceylance:** how are u feeling now?

**kogayne:** ...better thanks to you. 

**kogayne:** and shiro and adam but uhhh, you too.

**lanceylance:** good! i’m glad you’re feeling better

**lanceylance:** i wish you could make it to my football game </3

**kogayne:** lance,

**lanceylance:** no! no i get it seriously i do! no guilt tripping! it’s not ur thing and im fine getting ur support from home <3

**kogayne:** i...

**lanceylance:** you?

**kogayne:** nothing...nothing

**kogayne:** goodnight lance. <3

**lanceylance:** night keith <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if the entire bee movie scrip could fit in this tiny little box you bet that’s what i’d put in here. alas, i cannot. unu
> 
> ANYWAYS! i have no idea what to write other than enjoy this chapter! tell me what you like about this fic, what you don’t and what you’d like to see implemented into it! and now i bid thee adue. untill next time!~


	8. the football game ft adashatt pt. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a lot of screaming, pidge and matt start a fire, lance and nyma bonding AND some diner fun!

**bored squad**

**alluring:** hey hey hey you kids (and adults) at the game yet?

**mattress:** yeeeeeeeeeeee boi

**pidgeotto:** we’ve been here for…a while now :)))

**alluring:** what did you two do?

**mattress:** (innocent whistling)

**pidgeotto:** huehuehue

**romeme:** thisll be inch resting

**lanceylance:** huuuuuuuuunk where are you??

**shayaway:** trying to find a parking spot

**shayaway:** im texting for him because im a wonderful gf uwu

**romeme:** tfw u have a wonderful gf that helps with ur projects uwu

**alluring:** tfw uwu

**lanceylance:** stay tell himt o hURRY

**shayaway:** he says not nice words

**adamnshame:** Takashi and I are running a little late, just as an fyi.

**adamnshame:** Somebody didn’t set an alarm on after his nap.

**t.shirogane:** That somebody was /you/.

**lanceylance:** nobody likes a snitch, shiro

**mattress:** snitches get stitches

**t.shirogane:** People giVING SNITCHES STITCHES ARE LIL BITCHES-

**shayaway:** what did i just read with my own two eyes

**adamnshame:** SHIRO YOU HIT THAT MAILBOX STOP TEXTING AND DRIVING

**t.shirogane:** IT WAS AN UGLY MAILBOX ANYWAYS SHUTUP

**pidgeotto:** i love all of this

**mattress:** get OFF THE PHONE

**alluring:** NO TEXTING AND DRIVING SHIRO UR BETTER THAN THIS

**t.shirogane:** AM I AM I REALLY THO ALLURA?

**hunkindonuts:** UGHHH WHY DONT PEOPLE KNOW HOW TO PARK

**t.shirogane:** Mood though.

**lanceylance:** HUNKKK

**mattress:** SHIRO

**hunkindonuts:** LANCE

**romeme:** ROMELLE! ;D

**t.shirogane:** What- oh no it me… Adam. I took his phone.

**mattress:** my hero uwu

**pidgeotto:** matt come hither and help me with the fucking fire

**mattress:** on it!!!!

**alluring:** n o   f i r e s

**pidgeotto:** BURN BABY BURN

**mattress:** RIP TO THE SCHOOL, F TO PAY RESPECTS

**romeme:** f :(

**alluring:** MELLY NO WE DO NOT ENCOURAGE ARSON

**pidgeotto:** WHY NOT?

**alluring:** MAYBE BECAUSE ITS ILLEGAL

**mattress:** C R I M E S

**lanceylance:** HUNK I NEED UR HELP

**hunkindonuts:** WHAT WHAT IS IT WHAT U WANT

**lanceylance:** I NEED HELP

**pidgeotto:** inch resting

**hunkindonuts:** WITH WHAT

**lanceylance:** MY GEAR

**lanceylance:** ALSO I NEED A PEP TALK

**kogayne:** i got it.

**romeme:** ??

**lanceylance:** GOT WHAT

**kogayne:** i’ll come help you…

**lanceylance:** UR ALL THE way at home i need help now

**t.shirogane:** (Whistling…)

**pidgeotto:** oh ho ho, really now?

**kogayne:** im on my way to the locker rooms,

**lanceylance:** i

**lanceylance:** ok.

**romeme:** he’s speechless

**mattress:** ha ha ha haaaa, that’s gay-

**adamnshame:** Most of us are gay, Matthew.

**t.shirogane:** Oh worm

**mattress:** ahhh memes :) the way to my heart :)

**romeme:** mood

**mattress:** WAIT SHIRO GET OFF THE PHONE

**t.shirogane:** IM NOT DRIVING ANYMORE HON

**mattress:** …

**pidgeotto:** SO ITS PRETTY COLD HUH

**alluring:** wouldnt know

**romeme:** u said u were cold and thats why we’re cuddling now

**alluring:** i just wanted cuddles

**mattress:** v a l i d

**shayaway:** i brought a blanket for hunk and i

**hunkindonuts:** we’re cuddling on the bleachers

**t.shirogane:** That is what Adam and I are planning to do.

**mattress:** well im FREEZING

**pidgeotto:** thats what you get for wearing short sleeves in september loser

**mattress:** :’(

**mattress:** i might walk back home and get a jacket or something its COLD

**adamnshame:** Come get in the blanket with Takashi and I.

**mattress:** i

**shayaway:** oh ho ho ;)

**pidgeotto:** owo

**alluring:** inch resting

**t.shirogane:** Coming?

**mattress:** yeah…

**romeme:** ha ha ha, that’s gay.

**hunkindonuts:** aww here comes matty

**pidgeotto:** hah hes so red

**t.shirogane:** Wait is that Keith behind him?

**pidgeotto:** hah hes so red too

**shayaway:** is… is that lances jacket?

**hunkindonuts:** it.. ohmygod yea its his favorite jacket

**adamnshame:** Everyone stop texting he’s getting sus,

 

 

**alluring > adamnshame**

**alluring:** QUICK MATT: YES OR NO

**adamnshame:** I’m offended. This is Adam’s phone.

**alluring:** ughhhhh matt: date or nay?

**adamnshame:** …im taken

**alluring:** what about dating both matt and shiro..?

**adamnshame:** Can...can I do that..?

**alluring:** yep its consented with all parties, no secrets, and like a normal relationship you DOWN

**adamnshame:** Oh...then I want to date both.

**alluring:** OK THANK YOU COME AGAIN

**adamnshame:** I am confusion...

 

 

**t.shirogane > kogayne**

**t.shirogane:** So.. your boyfriend is pretty good at football.

**kogayne:** hes not my boyfriend

**kogayne:** now shutup and watch the game, mailbox wrecker

**t.shirogane:** Ignoring that…

**t.shirogane:** He keeps looking up here and smiling.

**t.shirogane:** What did you two do in those rooms?

**kogayne:** SHIRO

**kogayne:** I JUST TOLD HIM HED DO GREAT BECAUSE HES GREAT

**kogayne:** AND THEN HE GAVE ME HIS JACKET BECAUSE I WAS COLD…

**t.shirogane:** Keith that’s gay.

**kogayne:** i am. yes.

**kogayne:** speaking about gay

**kogayne:** what about you and adam and matt…

**kogayne:** gay to the third power (i couldnt find the tiny 3)

**t.shirogane:** OK BYE GOTTA GO WATCHING THE GAME

**kogayne:** h a h

**kogayne:** got eeeeem

**kogayne:** i cant believe you actually blocked me

**kogayne:** im going to throw popcorn at you until you unblock me

**kogayne:** oh i hit matt

**kogayne:** aaaaaaand i am no longer throwing popcorn in that general vicinity ever again :/

**kogayne:** or eating popcorn.

 

 

**bored squad**

**hunkindonuts:** OHMYGOD PHMYGOD LANCE DID IT HE WON THE GAME

**alluring:** OH MY GOD LANCE YESSSSS

**romeme:** YOU CANT SEE US BUT ALLURA AND I ARE JUMPING AROUND FOR U

**shayaway:** IM SO PROUD WOW LOOK AT HIM GO

**pidgeotto:** YEAH LETS DUNK HIM IN BLUE GATORADE

**t.shirogane:** No.

**mattress:** boo u whore

**hunkindonuts:** OH MY GOD THAT FIRE IS REALLY BIG

**mattress:** YESSSS

**shayaway:** AND REALLY BLUE

**pidgeotto:** YESSSSSSSS

**alluring:** I SAID NO CRIMES

**pidgeotto:** YOU SAID NO ARSON AND WE DIDNT SET ANYTHING ON FIRE ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** is it dangerous?

**mattress:** completely harmless my dude

**t.shirogane:** It looks really nice, Matt.

**mattress:** thank u shiro (⌐■_■)

**pidgeotto:** yeah i was there too,

**adamnshame:** @username @pidge

**pidgeotto:** f.u2 binch

**kogayne:** lets go congratulate him

**hunkindonuts:** we need to wait for

**hunkindonuts:** or we can walk right out onto the field

**shayaway:** awwwww guyssssss

**romeme:** ???

**shayaway:** he just scooped keith up into a hug

**pidgeotto:** i saw that

**shayaway:** they both look really happy

**pidgeotto:** i see that too

**romeme:** PICS OR IT DIDNT HAPPEN

**shayaway** has sent (2) photos

**alluring:** awwww

**pidgeotto:** and i also see a nyma approaching

**romeme:** :0

**t.shirogane:** That’s Nyma?

**hunkindonuts:** yea shes p cool tbh

**pidgeotto:** wait she just.. saw them and walked away??

**shayaway:** YEA BUT SHE SMILED SHE SHIPS KLANCE TOO

**alluring:** YES THE NUMBERS GROW

**adamnshame:** Shipping at first klance.

**t.shirogane:** Why am I dating you?

**adamnshame:** Because I’m a wonderful boyfriend and you love me.

**t.shirogane:** Inconceivable.

**mattress:** OH GOOD JOB SHIRO NOW ADAM LEFT WITH THE BLANKET

**t.shirogane:** WELL HE CANT GO FAR I HAVE THE KEYS TO THE CAR

**adamnshame:** MATT DRIVE ME HOME

**pidgeotto:** NO

**t.shirogane:** WE LIVE TOGETHER

**adamnshame:** @USERNAME

 

 

**olnymadreams > lanceylance**

**olnymadreams:** hey congrats on the winning touchdown!

**lanceylance:** thank you!! aaaaaaaaa im so HAPPY

**olnymadreams:** yeah :)

**olnymadreams:** which is why it makes me sad to do this but,

**lanceylance:** ??

**olnymadreams:** i think we should break up

**lanceylance:** wait… why?

**olnymadreams:** im sorry lance but im not the person that you want

**olnymadreams:** and ur not who i want, not romantically at least

**olnymadreams:** i see u like a best friend not a lover

**olnymadreams:** and we can stay in a relationship and away from the people we really love or we can grow a pair and ask them out

**olnymadreams:** i know keith will say yes if u ask

**lanceylance:** hahahahahaha what is that supposed to mean ahahhahahahah

**olnymadreams:** cmon lance im not dumb

**olnymadreams:** just today you gave him ur jacket, looked at him every five minutes with a soft smile while playing FOOTBALL 

**olnymadreams:** v v dangerous and u need to focus or get like tackled to death

**olnymadreams:** and hugged him like he would disappear any second

**lanceylance:** oh i...im sorry i didnt..

**olnymadreams:** im not mad ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**olnymadreams:** so SINCE WE ARE NO LONGER DATING

**lanceylance:** mhmmm

**olnymadreams:** i want you to make the right choice and ask him out

**olnymadreams:** because you liiiiiiiiiike him

**lanceylance:** hdbejenduejeen

**olnymadreams:** you want huuuuuuuug him and hooooooooold him

**olnymadreams:** you want to kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss him

**lanceylance:** NYMA PLEASE MY HEART CANT TAKE IT

**olnymadreams:** ;))

**lanceylance:** hhhhhh ur the best i s2g

**lanceylance:** i love u, no het tho

**olnymadreams:** lmao yeah same <33

**lanceylance:** so what about the party?

**olnymadreams:** hah im uhhhhhh

**olnymadreams:** plax is taking me :P

**lanceylance:** plax huh? ;)

**olnymadreams:** hdiekdbeirneb kaY LEAVING WITH PLAX NOW BYE

**lanceylance:** have fun lover girl ;)

**olnymadreams:** u too lover boy ;)

 

 

**bored squad**

**lanceylance:** tfw no girlfriend

**romeme:** cant relate

**alluring:** melly not now...

**hunkindonuts:** awwww lance :(

**kogayne:** fuck im sorry i…

**shayaway:** lance :(

**lanceylance:** HEY NO it was a mutual breakup and we’re still friends

**lanceylance:** i love her just not...romantically

**pidgeotto:** oh thank god i dont have to watch that anymore

**t.shirogane:** Pidge.

**lanceylance:** ANYWAYS IM NOT GOING THE PARTY AFTER ALL

**lanceylance:** LETS ALL GO OUT TO THE DINER?

**alluring:** STILL CANT MAKE IT BUT HAVE FUN

**romeme:** RETWEET

**pidgeotto:** YES I WANT GREASY DINER FOOD

**hunkindonuts:** BET WHOS GOING IN WHAT CAR

**lanceylance:** IM ALL ALONEEEEE SOMEBODY GIVE ME COMPANY :((

**t.shirogane:** Keith will.

**kogayne:** oh… yeah sure

**lanceylance:** :)

**kogayne:** :)

**mattress:** hah gay

**pidgeotto:** wait matt and i walked here

**adamnshame:** Matt come with Shiro and I?

**t.shirogane:** A spot just opened up in back.

**mattress:** oh yeet im taking the blanket and curling up in back

**shayaway:** pidge come with us

**pidgeotto:** if i have to suffer pining im glad its some mild hunay

**hunkindonuts:** uwu

**lanceylance:** just let me get dressed

**adamnshame:** The football jersey you’re currently wearing is better than the sweats and hoodie you were wearing.

**lanceylance:** no you loser i brought a change for the party

**hunkindonuts:** who is nyma going with now anyways?

**lanceylance:** plaxum ;)

**shayaway:** oooh nyma has a thing for plax?

**kogayne:** and you’re cool with that?

**lanceylance:** yeah, nyma and i are friends and we like different people

**kogayne:** oh…

**pidgeotto:** (groans)

**t.shirogane:** Well im glad it was a healthy break up and the two of you are still friends.

**alluring:** im glad lance is finally trying to end his pining

**hunkindonuts:** i can so do without the midnight calls about how a certain someone looks good in leather

**lanceylance:** HUNK NO SHUSH

**adamnshame:** Ohhhhh…

**pidgeotto:** lance pretty much everyone knows

**lanceylance:** hhhhhhhhhhh shut-

**romeme:** dude we’re all like, 99.8% sure its mutual chill

**lanceylance:** sbdheijshsoansbaj

**mattress:** sorry to break a wholesome moment but my tummy is making the rumblies

**mattress:** that only greasy diner food can suffice

**lanceylance:** OH RIGHT

**lanceylance:** OK TIME TO CELEBRATE CHILDREN

**lanceylance:** WELL WE’RE NOT CELEBRATING CHILDREN

**lanceylance:** IM CALLING YOU LOSERS CHILDREN

**kogayne:** yeah lance… we get it

**lanceylance:** ok ok ok come on im done lets go

**kogayne:** im uhhh… i’ll go with shiro

**t.shirogane:** No you won’t.

**kogayne:** then i’m going home,

**lanceylance:** then i’m going home with u

**kogayne:** no just go have fun with our friends

**lanceylance:** mmm kay, but i want to have fun hanging out with u

**romeme:** fuckn smooth

**kogayne:** ok…

**lanceylance:** now come on enough stalling lets go FEAST

**pidgeotto:** thanK FUCK

**mattress:** f o o d

 

 

**kogayne > lanceylance**

**kogayne:** fuck i forgot to give you your jacket back,

**lanceylance:** keep it,

**kogayne:** oh,

**kogayne:** but its your favorite jacket..?

**lanceylance:** yeah but...it looks good on u

**kogayne:** ...thanks lance

**kogayne:** it was very warm anditsmelledverynice AND IT WAS COMFY

**lanceylance:** bdujvrulkjjsjjc

**lanceylance:** aaaa thank you for being there tonight

**lanceylance:** and for the pep talk it really helped

**kogayne:** anything for you lance :)

**lanceylance:** i

**kogayne:** you..?

**lanceylance:** :) nothing

**lanceylance:** goodnight keith <3

**kogayne:** night <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this chapter is a little short but it’s a well deserved break after all the chaos that’s taken place. probably one of my favorite chapters ngl-
> 
> feat. nylance healthy breakup, klance pining, adashatt pining, hunay cuteness, allurelle cuteness and... nyma pining over plax? (idk about u but i think its cute-)
> 
> so until next time!


	9. halloween month vs day discourse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> where there’s a markiplier reference, a mean girls reference, discourse over halloween month vs day, and some spicey things happen

**bored squad**

**pidgeotto:** it is halloween month fuckers

 **pidgeotto:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **lanceylance:** this is halloween

 **romeme:** this is halloween

 **hunkindonuts:** hALLOW’S EVE

 **mattress:** halloweenie

 **lanceylance:** HALLOWS WEENIE

 **t.shirogane:** Please stop-

 **kogayne:** what are you talking about

 **kogayne:** halloween isn’t for another 28 more days

 **alluring:** you know what that means?

 **kogayne:** no?

 **lanceylance:** on october third he asked me what day it was

 **shayaway:** it’s october third

 **adamnshame:** Am I missing something..?

 **mattress:** me ;)

 **t.shirogane:** No Adam. Kids will be kids, celebrating a holi/day/ for an entire month.

 **lanceylance:** NON BELIEVER

 **mattress:** LOOK OUT KIDS WE GOT A BADASS OVER HERE

 **pidgeotto:** OK YES DISCOURSE TIME!

 **hunkindonuts:** BRING IT ON

 **pidgeotto:** OH THE ON WILL BE BROUGHT

 **shayaway:** DONT THREATEN MY BOYF

 **lanceylance:** she has threatened ur boyf

 **romeme:** oh snap

 **shayaway:** DONT MESS WITH ME I HAVE THE POWER OF LOVE ON MY SIDE 

 **shayaway:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **t.shirogane:** Did anybody sleep last night..?

 **kogayne:** no and neither did u

 **t.shirogane:** KEITH NO-

 **adamnshame:** Oh no,

 **kogayne:** WALLS AINT SOUNDPROOF YALL

 **lanceylance:** why do i l

 **kogayne:**???

 **lanceylance:** nothing

 **mattress:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **shayaway:** oh ho ho?

 **alluring:** inch resting

 **hunkindonuts:** (sighs) lance buddy…

 **romeme:** am i the only one curious as to what shiro and adam were doing?

 **t.shirogane:** Why would you bring that back up?

 **pidgeotto:** i am not even the least bit curious

 **lanceylance:** i am

 **lanceylance:** v v curious

 **lanceylance:** i guess you could say im

 **lanceylance:** bi-curious (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

 **shayaway:** no

 **lanceylance:** :(

 **kogayne:** they were marathoning the office

 **adamnshame:** Keith why?

 **kogayne:** you kept me up all night

 **kogayne:** revenge

 **mattress:** sounds like a cute little date

 **adamnshame:** It was.

 **pidgeotto:** my!! discourse!! prompt!!

 **lanceylance:** HALLOWEEN MONTH BABY

 **kogayne:** no??

 **mattress:** YES!

 **romeme:** halloween month

 **t.shirogane:** Day.

 **romeme:** its HALLOWEEN MONTH

 **shayaway:** day**

 **alluring:** retweet on that shay

 **hunkindonuts:** month

 **adamnshame:** It’s a day, you heathens.

 **mattress:** try telling that to the stores (side eyes)

 **pidgeotto:** and people decorating their houses september 31st-

 **alluring:** yeah but halloween is only the 31st

 **alluring:** kids dont go trick or tricking all month-

 **t.shirogane:** Don’t give Matt ideas.

 **mattress:** ahdhwodnehiendb sHIRO

 **lanceylance:** yanno what? its neither

 **romeme:** excuse me?

 **lanceylance:** u heard me

 **lanceylance:** october? who she?

 **lanceylance:** i only know keithtober

 **kogayne:** w

 **hunkindonuts:** lA   Nc E oh m  Y g O d

 **shayaway:** iconic

 **kogayne:** i uh,

 **kogayne:** mmmmmimgoingtostudyphysicskaybye

 **lanceylance:** OH SHIT PHYSICS GOTTA BLAST

 

 

 **alluring** has added **adamnshame** , **mattress** and **t.shirogane** to **adashatt**

 **alluring** has sent (7) photos

 **alluring:** talk about it u losers,

 **alluring** has left the group

 **mattress:** so uhhhhh

 **t.shirogane:** …

 **adamnshame:**...Ok so.. the elephant in the room.. ?

 **t.shirogane:** Adam you’re cool with the three of us being in a polyamorous relationship?

 **adamnshame:** Yes.

 **t.shirogane:** Matthew?

 **mattress:** yeah

 **t.shirogane:** Ok then let’s go out.

 **mattress:** wait what-

 **adamnshame:** Takashi, now?

 **t.shirogane:** I’m really nervous and running on impulse right now SO GET READY IM PICKING YOU UP IN 20

 **adamnshame:** WHAT DO I WEAR

 **t.shirogane:** SOMETHING CASUAL

 **mattress:** AAAAAAAAAA WHY WOULD U SPRING THIS ON US LAST SECOND

 **t.shirogane:** LISTEN I TOLD YOU IM NERVOUS

 **adamnshame:** WEVE BEEN ON DATES BEFORE

 **t.shirogane:** Yeah but now there’s /two/ hot nerdy guys I really like…

 **mattress:** SHIRO OHMYGOD-

 **t.shirogane:** GET READY LOSERS WE’RE GOING ON A DATE-

 **adamnshame:** WHERE ARE WE GOING

 **t.shirogane:** WE’LL THINK ABOUT IT WHEN WE CROSS THAT PATH

 **adamnshame:** YOU’RE SUCH A CHAOTIC GAY

 **mattress:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **adamnshame:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **t.shirogane:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **mattress:** you know… this is nothing like how i pictured this relationship to be

 **mattress:** its better than i can imagine uwu

 **t.shirogane:** fjehsopwjshsisnsbsj MATT

 **adamnshame:** Oh, nice going Matthew, now he’s even more stressed to make this perfect-

 **mattress:** its already perfect with you two-

 **adamnshame:** fhiwoebeueonsshw

 

 

**bored squad**

**lanceylance:** YOU KNOW WHAT

 **lanceylance:** I GIVE UP I CANT LEARN THIS FUCKING PHYSICS

 **lanceylance:** ITS JUST NOT STICKING IN MY MIND AS SOMETHING AS I CAN LEARN

 **lanceylance:** SO F PHYSICS IN THE A AND HAVE A NICE DAY

 **pidgeotto:** was that a markiplier reference?

 **lanceylance:** if matt can make llamas with hats references then i can make markiplier references

 **shayaway:** ew i hate physics

 **hunkindonuts:** HA TAKING AP PHYSICS YEET

 **lanceylance:** UGHHHH IT SUCKS WHAT WAS I THINKING

 **kogayne:** yeah.. i’d ask the dad-bros for help but they went on a date.

 **alluring:** that may have been my doing

 **pidgeotto:** wait matt went out too…

 **alluring:** good good thats what i hoped

 **hunkindonuts:** ADASHATT IS REALLY HAPPENING?!

 **shayaway:** DID SOMEBODY SAY ADASHATT IS CANON

 **lanceylance:** ABOUT HECCIN TIME RIGHT?

 **alluring:** ur one to talk-

 **lanceylance:** shUTT

 **romeme:** my girlfriend is a matchmaker

 **lanceylance:** AT LEAST ONE (1) THING IS GOING RIGHT

 **lanceylance:** UNLIKE THIS PHYSICS

 **hunkindonuts:** HEY LANCE STUDY DATE?

 **lanceylance:** BET IM COMING OVER

 **lanceylance:** KEITH IM PICKING YOU UP

 **kogayne:** what why?

 **lanceylance:** you said u needed help?

 **kogayne:** this feels more like hunk-lance bro time…

 **hunkindonuts:** dont be ridiculous, shay’s been here for hours now

 **shayaway:** henlo

 **romeme:** h...hewwo owo

 **hunkindonuts:** keith u are v v welcome to come and study (anything u wanna study) with us

 **lanceylance:** SEE LETS GO KEITH

 **hunkindonuts:** pidge you wanna come over?

 **pidgeotto:** hell yea, i’ll bring my maths homework and do it at ur house

 **lanceylance:** im picking pidge up first then you keith,

 **kogayne:** cool im going to text shiro

 **hunkindonuts:** see you all soon!

 **shayaway:** see ya!

 **romeme:** hey babe,

 **romeme:** date night?

 **alluring:** hecc yeah, lazy day in w shitty movies and cuddles?

 **romeme:** ye!!!!!

 

 

**gane family**

**kogayne:** yo im going to study at Hunk’s house so i’ll see you two when i get home

 **kogayne:** have fun with your date with Matt

 **adamnshame:** Thank you Keith, we will!

 **t.shirogane:** How did you find out?

 **kogayne:** pretty hard to keep secrets in a group chat Shiro ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **kogayne:** i say one thing, pidge another and allura and third and everything starts to get pieced together

 **t.shirogane:** Figures a bunch of conspiracy theorists would look into Adam and I’s date night.

 **kogayne:** uwu

 **kogayne:** so where are you guys?

 **t.shirogane:** At the mall, eating out together.

 **kogayne:** mmmm i can feel your need to gush,

 **t.shirogane:**...yeah. After the date-

 **kogayne:** so are you only planning on eating or..?

 **t.shirogane:** We flipped a coin for laser tag or escape room and laser tag won.

 **kogayne:** wait you’re going to run around in a dark room with neon lights, shooting from fake guns after eating

 **adamnshame:** That’s exactly what your brother said.

 **t.shirogane:** I guess so.

 **kogayne:** that sounds… really fun actually

 **kogayne:** have fun gays

 **kogayne:** guys*

 **kogayne:** eh, its three dudes going on a laser tagging date

 **kogayne:** very gay

 **t.shirogane:** jvdgeoenegejjsj

 **adamnshame:** Popped in just to spam dveidkwbosms

 

 

**bored squad**

**mattress:** i canNOT BELIEBE-

 **pidgeotto:** OwO

 **alluring:** oh, tea?

 **mattress:** ive got some sTEAMING tea

 **t.shirogane:** Matt this is all your fault?

 **mattress:** SHUSH NO THIS IS BIPHOBIA

 **lanceylance:** people are afraid of bilingualism? smh thats sad

 **romeme:** abdieldbsjeken

 **adamnshame:** It’s not biphobia if you deserved to get kicked out.

 **mattress:** whOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON

 **adamnshame:** The right one.

 **t.shirogane:** Matt you got us kicked out of a laser tag game because you kept hitting other people with your gun!

 **kogayne:** whats wrong with that?

 **alluring:** everything is wrong with that, keith

 **lanceylance:** DID U HIT THE CHILDREN???

 **mattress:** no comment

 **alluring:** EXCUSE ME WHAT

 **pidgeotto:** (blows airhorn) get fucked

 **shayaway:** rip 5-12 year olds. cause of death: a grown 24 year old man slapping them with a plastic gun

 **kogayne:** tragic

 **lanceylance:** ‘f’ to pay respects

 **mattress:** DVEJDKEBJEEKN NO COMMENT BECAUSE I DIDNT YOU FAITHLESS HEATHENS

 **pidgeotto:** sure jan

 **t.shirogane:** You didn't have any qualms hitting me!

 **kogayne:** ok but does anyone need a reason to hit you?

 **adamnshame:** No, actually. Because they shouldn’t be hitting him.

 **alluring:** matt you dont hit ur bf u make up a strategy

 **mattress:** yea like strategy was gonna work against shiro

 **pidgeotto:** yea and ur brawns against shiro would?

 **lanceylance:** oh shit rip martholomew holts muscles

 **mattress:** r00d™

 **adamnshame:** Are you two going to tell them that the real reason we got kicked out of laser tagging was because Matt screamed “sneak attack binch!” in front of 20 kids as he tried to melee attack Takashi and got judo flipped over his back?

 **romeme:** abdheosnehoendbejej

 **lanceylance:** ICON

 **pidgeotto:** OwO time to hack and steal some perfect blackmail footage

 **alluring:** you chaotic gays-

 **lanceylance:** IM ACTUALLY CRYING RIGHT NOW THIS IS GREAT

 **kogayne:** he really is

 **mattress:** wait what are you kids doing?

 **kogayne:** we were studying

 **kogayne:** but we finished and started playing mario kart ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **lanceylance:** and pidge is CHEATING

 **t.shirogane:** Yes yes, Matt feels the need to cheat whenever we play as well.

 **mattress:** itS NOT CHEATING ITS CALLED CUTTING THE FIELD AND GIVING URSELF A SHORTCUT

 **t.shirogane:** Yep. Cheating…

 **adamnshame:** The best thing about this argument is that they’re in the living room cuddling.

 **romeme:** thats gay

 **alluring:** well a 3-dude-relationship would be p gay yea

 **kogayne:** pidge isn’t cheating lance just sucks at mario kart

 **lanceylance:** NO LISTEN ITS RAINBOW ROAD OK

 **lanceylance:** WHOS THE HEATHEN THAT EVEN CHOSE TO DO RAINBOW ROAD

 **kogayne:** i chose rainbow road because it’s a great level and a gay icon. fight me over it

 **lanceylance:** BET

 **kogayne:** SQUARE UP MCCLAIN

 **lanceylance:** LETS GO

 **kogayne:** BET

 **lanceylance:** 7ELEVEN SLUSHIES?

 **kogayne:** AND A BUNCH OF SHITTY JUNK FOOD???

 **lanceylance:** BET IM ALREADY GETTING UP

 **kogayne:** IM ALREADY OUT THE DOOR

 **lanceylance:** GOOD

 **kogayne:** GOOD

 **pidgeotto:** oh thank god they finally left

 **t.shirogane:** What did I just witness?

 **mattress:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

 

**kogayne > lanceylance**

**kogayne:** so that happened,

 **lanceylance:** mmm yeah, do u mean the kiss or u flirting

 **kogayne:** ohmygod

 **kogayne:** i can’t believe i actually did that,

 **lanceylance:** it was wonderful,

 **kogayne:** lance please-

 **lanceylance:** lets recreate it, i’ll be me and u be u?

 **kogayne:** ughhhh fine

 **kogayne:** heh, ur lips are blue

 **lanceylance:** and yours are red

 **kogayne:**...lets make purple

 **lanceylance:** ughhhh my heart fuckn melted keith

 **lanceylance:** ive never kissed anyone harder

 **kogayne:** so are we yanno..?

 **lanceylance:** boyfriends?

 **kogayne:** yeah..

 **lanceylance:** yeah

 **lanceylance:** i mean.. i want to be boyfriends

 **lanceylance:** do you?

 **kogayne:** yeah, i want to too

 **kogayne:** but i dont want to tell the others… not yet

 **lanceylance:** yeah i understand

 **kogayne:** we can tell them on my birthday..?

 **lanceylance:** keith ur mind-

 **kogayne:** mmm?

 **lanceylance:** ur a very smart very adorable boy

 **kogayne:** shdheidnehekens

 **lanceylance:** tfw i want to come over but shiro and adam :’(

 **kogayne:** i want to come over…

 **lanceylance:** its late and u dont have a ride?

 **kogayne:** ill walk?

 **lanceylance:** what NO KEITH THATS DANGEROUS

 **kogayne:** what? its just a walk

 **lanceylance:** a walk late at night in the DARK

 **lanceylance:** i’ll pick u up

 **kogayne:** they know ur car

 **kogayne:** im already walking

 **lanceylance:** ill meet u halfway

 **kogayne:** ok <3

 **lanceylance:** <33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh wow adashatt is canon now-
> 
> OH WOW KLANCE IS CANON NOW KICK- well that took absolutely no time (other than yanno- 9 chapters) and i totally want to write the scene they’re talking about because soft klance and flirting keith? my shit right there-
> 
> also i totally hurried to try and finish this chapter today just for that mean girls ref to /fit/ ohmygod-


	10. spoopy month: wedgie board’s demon buddy jerry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its spoopy month and that means doing spoopy things ft. team pidge and keith, jerry is a dick, klance is obvious but not oblivious and some soft fluff at the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for demon summoning and using the ouija board

**bored squad**

**alluring:** goooood morning everybody it’s been a while

 **adamnshame:** I knew I should have enjoyed the quiet while it lasted.

 **mattress:** shut up you love us

 **pidgeotto:** debatable

 **mattress:** r00d™

 **lanceylance:** (air horns) get fucked 

 **hunkindonuts:** lance…

 **mattress:** get fucked you say ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

 **t.shirogane:** No. 

 **adamnshame:** No.

 **mattress:** abduekndkekens

 **kogayne:** also no because i live in that house 

 **pidgeotto:** and i also live in a house

 **romeme:** i live in a bungalow

 **lanceylance:** sounds fake but ok

 **adamnshame:** Just say you live in a house like the rest of us.

 **romeme:** b u n g a l o w

 **alluring:** buns gay low

 **shayaway:** w… what 

 **alluring:** the gay buns go low with this one

 **romeme:** ajdbsosnshwonsjs

 **hunkindonuts:** what does any of this /mean/

 **t.shirogane:** Allura did you sleep at all?

 **alluring:** four

 **hunkindonuts:** allura wHY

 **alluring:** melly kept me up all night-

 **mattress:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **pidgeotto:** ughhhhhh no

 **romeme:** not like that u fucks

 **lanceylance:** hmmmm inch resting, truly inch resting

 **mattress:** yes yes, quite fascinating indeed 

 **alluring:** stop sounding like coran u dorks

 **romeme:** N E WAYS i spent all of last night doing very important things

 **alluring:** ummmmm we played mario kart all night babey

 **romeme:** UMmMmmM wE PlaYeD MariO KarT AlL NigHt BaBey

 **romeme:** and i WON

 **alluring:** and u CHEATED

 **adamnshame:** Is anyone else getting flashbacks?

 **t.shirogane:** It runs in this dysfunctional family.

 **shayaway:** flashbacks or arguing?

 **t.shirogane:** Mhmm.

 **shayaway:** w… uh. ???

 **alluring:** besides, she totally cheated

 **romeme:** (GAYSP) I WOULD NEVER

 **romeme:** HOW DARE U ACCUSE UR GIRFIE OF DOING SO

 **alluring:** oh so me going to pee and then coming back to a controller with the batteries missing isn’t at all suspicious to you?

 **romeme:** i have no idea what ur talking about ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 **pidgeotto:** ive got it

 **pidgeotto:** it was a cryptid

 **adamnshame:** Of course it was Pidge.

 **pidgeotto:** u NEVER KNOW IT COULD HAVE BEEN A CRYPTID

 **lanceylance:** yeah or a ghost, (side eyes emoji)

 **hunkindonuts:** (shudders) i hate ghosts

 **kogayne:** speaking of cryptids are we still on for tonight oooooor??

 **pidgeotto:** dude fuck yes

 **mattress:** hi yes excuse me may i wedge my brotherly concern in here

 **pidgeotto:** fuck no

 **kogayne:** ew go away matt

 **mattress:** SUCKS BECAUSE UR GETTING IT ANYWAYS

 **pidgeotto:** (groans)

 **kogayne:** (groans louder)

 **lanceylance:** (groans loudest)

 **kogayne:** (groans quietly)

 **shayaway:** what is happening

 **hunkindonuts:** did anybody sleep?

 **kogayne:** SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK

 **adamnshame:** Of course it is, Keith.

 **alluring:** w0w matt’s still typing 

 **mattress;** (clears throat) hear hear for i am about to spew wisdom on your young, flat asses, ya hear?

 **lanceylance:** flat?

 **lanceylance:** i have the juiciest ass ever

 **kogayne:** w.. what 

 **pidgeotto:** (groans)

 **shayaway:** oh ho ho?

 **t.shirogane:** Moving on from this topic of conversation since it’s weird and uncomfortable to think about minor’s butts-

 **adamnshame:** Oh mood-

 **shayaway:** oof yikies

 **lanceylance:** sorryyyyyyyy 

 **t.shirogane:** Matthew, let the kids have their fun summoning spirit and eventually causing the end of the world.

 **adamnshame:** You did worse things. 

 **mattress:** you two just want to watch the world end

 **t.shirogane:** (starry eyes) It’s been my dream-

 **kogayne:** hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 **lanceylance:**???

 **pidgeotto:** (groans) 

 **kogayne:** w

 **hunkindonuts:** congratulations lance, you broke him 

 **lanceylance:** … oh really now? 

 **lanceylance:** :) cool 

 **alluring:** lance what are you planning

 **lanceylance:** nothing

 **lanceylance:** :)

 

 

**kogayne > pidgeotto **

**kogayne:** you know… its spoopy month

 **kogayne:** so it is TIME to whip out the wedgie board 

 **kogayne:** and summon some fucking spirits yo

 **kogayne:** waddup demons 

 **kogayne:** its me

 **kogayne:** ya BOI

 **pidgeotto:** OwO

 **kogayne:** wait pidge no

 

 

**bored squad**

**pidgeotto** has named the chat **GATHER ROUND FOLKS**

 **pidgeotto** has sent (2) photos 

 **kogayne:** PIDGE

 **pidgeotto:** (cackling)

 **lanceylance:** i always knew they were insane

 **hunkindonuts:** why arent we talking about keith?

 **hunkindonuts:** is that even keith in there?

 **hunkindonuts:** has keith been replaced by a clone of himself? 

 **hunkindonuts:** is the GOVERNMENT USING HIM AS A SPY 

 **lanceylance:** hunk! think of kittens! hunk!

 **t.shirogane:** Hunk that's not going to happen Keith's just sleep deprived.

 **mattress:** keith i knew i loved u for a reason

 **mattress:** im really really proud of you buddy!! 

 **shayaway:** /wedgie board/ 

 **romeme:** im crying

 **alluring:** she is

 **romeme:** lura is also crying

 **alluring:** i am

 **kogayne:** my reputation is ruined, thanks pidge

 **pidgeotto:** uwu

 **lanceylance:** what reputation? 

 **lanceylance:** of being the softest boi ever to boi?

 **kogayne:** eheilensksmansj 

 **mattress:** thats gay

 **adamnshame:** Keith is very gay and Lance is very bi. 

 **mattress:** stop being logical

 **t.shirogane:** Both of you shut up and come back so we can finish this movie. 

 **pidgeotto:** i dont wanna know

 **hunkindonuts:** ^^^^^^^^ 

 **lanceylance:** ooOOO GET SOME MATT

 **kogayne:** shiro im borrowing your car to pick up pidge

 **t.shirogane:** Alright.

 **romeme:** wait keith doesn’t have his own car? 

 **kogayne:** no?? 

 **lanceylance:** oh cool ur carpooling with me from now

 **lanceylance:** if u want that is!!

 **kogayne:** yeah, i do

 **lanceylance:** cool :)

 **pidgeotto:** (sounds of distress)

 **alluring:** how oblivious can people be?

 **kogayne:** not as much as you think

 **hunkindonuts:** youd be amazed

 **lanceylance:** bet

 **pidgeotto:** (squints)

 **mattress:** inch resting

 **kogayne:** pidge im omw!

 **pidgeotto:** take ur time

 **pidgeotto:** no not really tho 

 **pidgeotto:** you have ten minutes

 **pidgeotto:** for every minute you’re late i expose a conversation of ours

 **kogayne:** nooooooOOOOOO

 **hunkindonuts:** thats brutal man

 **lanceylance:** have fun you losers

 **kogayne:** mmmm we will 

 **pidgeotto:** (squinting intensifies)

 **t.shirogane:** Wait…

 **t.shirogane:** You are NOT summoning demons with the ouija board!

 **alluring:** youre a little late to the party shiro

 **t.shirogane:** I was distracted…

 **hunkindonuts:** by the hot guys ur cuddling and watching a movie with? 

 **t.shirogane:** Yeah that…

 **adamnshame:** Thanks Hunk

 **mattress:** thank uwu

 **shayaway:** /hot guys/ im wheezing

 **hunkindonuts:** oh wait did i send that?

 **romeme:** i thought lance sent that

 **lanceylance:** >:( 

 **pidgeotto:** nah the gane lance is into left that house

 **shayaway:** hes not denying it

 **lanceylance:** no…

 **t.shirogane:** Pidge you’re not summoning demons. 

 **pidgeotto:** eh i dont believe in that stuff anyways

 **lanceylance:** yeah because cryptids are more believable than ghosts and demons

 **mattress:** join a cult and summon abbadon 

 **alluring:** dont do exactly that

 **adamnshame:** Don’t be a Matthew. It’s dangerous for your life.

 **mattress:** adam :’(

 **adamnshame:** It’s true, hon. 

 **kogayne:** we’re joining a cult

 **kogayne:** thanks for the idea matt

 **pidgeotto:** oh cool keith’s here bAYYYYYE

 **mattress:** uh oh

 **mattress:** what have i done

 **t.shirogane:** (Facepalms)

 

 

 **GATHER ROUND FOLKS**  

 **kogayne:** STORY TIME 

 **kogayne:** pidge is a fucking DUMBASS

 **lanceylance:** woah hey, play nice keith

 **t.shirogane:** What did Pidge do? 

 **shayaway:** so did u two join a cult or whay?

 **kogayne:** unfortunately no

 **alluring:** “unfortunately” he says

 **kogayne:** but we did summon a demon 

 **hunkindonuts:** you sure pidge wasn’t just fucking with you?

 **pidgeotto:** no lmao i think keith was fucking with me 

 **kogayne:** no i dont fuck with the ouija board

 **adamnshame:** Good job on being decently intelligent, Keith.

 **pidgeotto:** f u 

 **kogayne:** who wants to hear about Jerry?

 **shayaway:** the ghost you two summoned?

 **kogayne:** demon* 

 **pidgeotto:** ya

 **lanceylance:** i do

 **mattress:** his name was Jerry?

 **pidgeotto:** he was a dick 

 **kogayne:** i mean im no ryan but i think that’s because u insulted him?

 **hunkindonuts:** pls tell me u two arent actually insulting spirits 

 **kogayne:** nooooooooooooo 

 **lanceylance:** whY WOULD YOU TWO DO THAT

 **kogayne:** IT WASNT ME THOUGH IT WAS PIDGE

 **mattress:** WHAT DID PIDGE SAY

 **pidgeotto:** hey uhhhhh keith, stop snitching motherfucker 

 **t.shirogane:** Keith why didn’t you stop them? 

 **kogayne:** i tried but they said “no fuck u i do what i want”

 **shayaway:** amazing

 **alluring:** pidge why?

 **pidgeotto:** i aint wasting my time with fake ghosties- i wanted answers 

 **hunkindonuts:** SO YOUR APPROACH IS TO ANTAGONIZE DEMONIC POTENTIALLY HARMFUL SPIRITS 

 **pidgeotto:** I WASNT EVEN THAT RUDE OK?

 **kogayne:** YOU TOLD THE SPIRIT THAT YOUR DEAD GRANDMOTHER REPLIES TO YOUR TEXTS FASTER

 **romeme:** this is how people die

 **lanceylance:** this is amazing im saving this

 **mattress:** how dare u slander gramma beth like this? 

 **pidgeotto:** well she raised me into the person i am today so really who’s at fault here???

 **t.shirogane:** Does this story have a good, safe ending?

 **pidgeotto:** jerry threw the planchette

 **lanceylance:** thas not good

 **kogayne:** AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT PIDGE SAID AFTER JERRY THREW THE PLANCHETTE?

 **pidgeotto:** yknow it really slips my mind

 **shayaway:** of course it does

 **hunkindonuts:** they didn’t like… call the spirit names, did they?

 **pidgeotto:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **kogayne:** THEY SAID “BOO U WHORE” AND THATS WHEN I DECIDED TO SAY GOODBYE AND RUN

 **adamnshame:** Does anyone believe this story? 

 **t.shirogane:** Yes. Are you two safe now?

 **kogayne:**...sure

 **pidgeotto:** we were safe the entire time demons arent real

 **kogayne:** we LITERALLY TALKED TO ONE

 **pidgeotto:** nahhh i think u were moving the planchette

 **lanceylance:**????

 **kogayne:** WHY WOULD I MESS WITH THE OUIJA BOARD

 **pidgeotto:** idk you suggested using it and i thought it was for the lols

 **pidgeotto:** idk

 **kogayne:** ughhHHHHH

 **kogayne:** im going to lay down

 **kogayne:** bye

 **t.shirogane:** Pidge…

 **mattress:** pidge when i get home we’re having a talk

 **pidgeotto:** what did i do?

 **alluring:** you played around with demons?

 **hunkindonuts:** you were insensitive to keith’s feelings?

 **pidgeotto:** …

 **pidgeotto:** ok yeah, i get it

 **pidgeotto:** talk later im going to study

 

 

**lanceylance > kogayne**

**lanceylance** has sent (5) photos

 **kogayne:** ahdisksbshskens

 **kogayne:** fuck ur cute

 **lanceylance:** ekbdownsks kEITH

 **kogayne:** im serious

 **lanceylance:** HHHHHHHhhhh im blushing thank u very much

 **kogayne:** id love to see that

 **lanceylance:** later

 **kogayne:** ‘m holding you to that

 **lanceylance:** deal ;)

 **lanceylance:** so how are u feeling?

 **kogayne:** anxious

 **kogayne:** paranoid

 **kogayne:** mad

 **lanceylance:** scared? 

 **kogayne:** sure that too

 **lanceylance:** yeah what pidge did was messed up but i dont think they realize it yet

 **kogayne:** ok i’ll just ignore it then

 **lanceylance:** keith nonononono im not asking u to do that

 **lanceylance:** u have a right to be upset w pidge

 **lanceylance:** being ignorant isnt an excuse they should know how dangerous it is to mess with demons

 **lanceylance:** whether u believe in it or not

 **kogayne:** mmmm

 **lanceylance:** do you uh,,,

 **lanceylance:** wanna come over and cuddle?

 **kogayne:** again?

 **lanceylance:** only if you u want

 **kogayne:** i do :) 

 **lanceylance:** ok cool :)

 **lanceylance:** do u need a ride?

 **kogayne:** nah i got shiro’s car

 **kogayne:** i’ll see you lance

 **lanceylance:** ok <3

 **kogayne:** <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jedbjddjdj this chapter is so late im so sorry aaaaa but as a reconciling gift here- have a jerry that literally nobody asked for
> 
> someone seems to be getting a lil sus about that klance action. keith- lance you two aint slick stop being so fuckin obvious you lovestruck fools- NEXT CHAPTER ACTUAL PLOT PICKS BACK UP! a lil someone makes an appearance and i hope im original for once mwahahahahah
> 
> N E WAYS this right [here](https://discord.gg/bEMWWzG) is the link to the discord server if yall wanna join so yeet-


	11. how to attract a möthman: with lämps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> keith’s figured out to how attract the möthman, he and lance nap in a closet and two dude bros need to chill the duck out my friend

**GATHER ROUND FOLKS**

**kogayne** has renamed the chat to **möthman**

 **kogayne:** i’ve figured it out

 **mattress:** i love where this is going- 

 **pidgeotto:** ohmygod- 

 **kogayne:** you shut up

 **adamnshame:** What have you figured out, Keith?

 **kogayne:** to attract the möthman

 **kogayne:** i need

 **kogayne:** a lämp 

 **kogayne:** so uhhhhhhhh… ya’ll got any lämps???

 **lanceylance:** eodbwosnosnsiend 

 **lanceylance:** orheiejeoJEJWODNWOSNNSABk 

 **lanceylance:** imma fcryubg

 **shayaway:** i can confirm that he is indeed crying

 **alluring:** keith shouldn't u be in class?

 **kogayne:** BRÖTHER

 **t.shirogane:** What do you want-

 **kogayne:** BUY ME SOME LÄMPS BRÖTHER

 **t.shirogane:** No?

 **lanceylance:** SKDJOWNEOSNDOSNSKSKALALnsosow

 **lanceylance:** aodhwidnwonsk ishw:&

 **hunkindonuts:** lance fell out of his chair

 **romeme:** is he okay??

 **shayaway:** he said “ow” but he’s still laughing so i think so 

 **hunkindonuts:** blaytz just looked at him and then went back to playing candy crush 

 **mattress:** ew that game is still relevant?

 **alluring:** ew matt is still relevant?

 **mattress:** øuchie :x

 **romeme:** (airhorn noises)

 **hunkindonuts:** can confirm candy crush is still gr8

 **adamnshame:** Shiro is on level 2257.

 **mattress:** jfc 

 **mattress:** its time to STOP

 **t.shirogane:** No, I’m so close to beating Allura.

 **alluring:** sweetie im at level 3087

 **pidgeotto:** c- candy crush discorse?

 **alluring:** no

 **alluring:** everyone loves candy crush 

 **shayaway:** no? they? don’t?

 **alluring:** e v E R Y O n E l O Ve S C aN dY c R US h (ʘ‿ʘ✿) 

 **shayaway:** o_o 

 **lanceylance:** ok ok

 **lanceylance:** im good now

 **lanceylance:** only dislocated my hip

 **lanceylance:** and popped a blood vessel

 **lanceylance:** but im good now

 **kogayne:** yes u are 

 **kogayne:** you know who else is so good? 

 **lanceylance:** whomst 

 **kogayne:** möthman is so good

 **lanceylance:** diebdikeosnsiejabs

 **lanceylance:** fjwondiwnsjsnsjNEKWNSKSN

 **lanceylance:** wodbwondownsiensnwnKENEOWNSKWNSK K

 **hunkindonuts:** hes crying again

 **shayaway:** everyone is looking at us

 **lanceylance:** MÖTHMANNNNNNNN

 **mattress:** why is möthman so good keith?

 **kogayne:** HE FLY HE SLY MOST IMPORTANTLY HES A MÖTH GUY

 **lanceylance:** aodhwodnownsoensosnkKsnwonskwnskKWBSKWNAK

 **t.shirogane:** Keith did you sleep at all last night?

 **kogayne:** DID YOU BUY ME THOSE LÄMPS AT ALL YET BRÖTHER?

 **t.shirogane:** We don’t need a lamp-

 **kogayne:** THEN SHUT THE HELL YOUR UP BRÖTHER

 **lanceylance:** wodheisno is neownwiwn

 **hunkindonuts:** keith pls for lance’s sake stop

 **kogayne:** NO HE KEPT UP SHOW MEING THE MÖTH MEMES 

 **romeme:** poor english language

 **romeme:** first it was lance and now it’s keith

 **shayaway:** she will be missed

 **alluring:** wait what

 **alluring:** lance kept you up with moth memes last night?

 **kogayne:** NO WHAT?

 **alluring:** THIS ISNT A TEXT CONVERSATION!! YOU READ WHAT YOU READ

 **kogayne:** UHHHHHH IDK WHAT UR TALKING ABOUT

 **pidgeotto:** you JUST said lance kept you up with moth memes

 **kogayne:** OR MAYBE I WAS TOO SCARED TO SLEEP LAST NIGHT BUT YOU DONT CARE LMAO

 **t.shirogane:** Keith do I need to come and pick you up?

 **kogayne:** no you need to go buy me a lämp im catching the möthman T O N I G H T

 **kogayne:** and lance is a good, lovely, wonderful human who cares

 **kogayne:** so hes going to H E L P me catch the möthman tonight

 **adamnshame:** I think you should save that for later and sleep tonight instead.

 **alluring:** that sounds like a much better idea keith

 **lanceylance:** sounds lame @adam and allura

 **lanceylance:** keith im in 

 **kogayne:** yeet

 **kogayne:** this is why lance is my favorite

 **lanceylance:** wjshesijJajshwkkWJHSWKWJWK

 **romeme:** sure thats why

 **lanceylance:** keith is also MY favorite 

 **hunkindonuts:** i thought i was ur favorite?

 **lanceylance:** yeah but keith is cool and kind like… my future

 **lanceylance:** THE*

 **kogayne:** aorhwoeneonsossnosnsjsjsnsKSJAKm

 **mattress:** oh how the turntables ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **romeme:** SCREENSHOT 

 **alluring:** hmmmMMMMM

 **shayaway:n** keith?

 **shayaway:** keith?

 **shayaway:** ohmyfuckinggod he fucking dead

 

 

**kogayne > lanceylance**

**kogayne:** did you

 **kogayne:** um…

 **lanceylance:** hhhhhh yeah??

 **kogayne:** …nevermind

 **lanceylance:** keith wait

 **lanceylance:** i did mean it…

 **lanceylance:** i um… can we meet up? in our spot?

 **kogayne:** and cuddle..?

 **lanceylance:** ofc we’re gonna cuddle aifhwosnsknsjsns

 **kogayne:** i have free period next…

 **lanceylance:** GOOD

 **lanceylance:** I HAVE ENGLISH AND BLAYTZ CAN AFFORD TO NOT SEE ME NEXT PERIOD

 **lanceylance:** so nap times and cuddles with the boyf in a closet

 **kogayne:** aofebdiensonsosnsjsjsbsn

 **kogayne:** bc we’re gay?

 **lanceylance:** TECHNICALLY OUR RELATIONSHIP IS CLOSETED

 **kogayne:** aofhwondownsoenieneksjsn

 **kogayne:** stop making puns andjust GET HERE you dork-

 **lanceylance:** wodhwodownsownsoej im omw

 

 

**möthman**

**hunkindonuts:** lance where are youuuuyu

 **lanceylance:** with the boooooo

 **shayaway:** what?

 **lanceylance:** huh? 

 **romeme:** u have a boo?

 **lanceylance:** OH

 **lanceylance:** no i meant with the brooms

 **pidgeotto:** (squints bc matt misplaced my glasses this morning but also because im sus)

 **mattress:** i TOLD you i didnt touch ur glasses you PEST

 **pidgeotto:** AND IM SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THAT THEY GREW LEGS AND WALKED AWAY?

 **mattress:** IDFK

 **t.shirogane:** Matt’s been with Adam and I since yesterday.

 **adamnshame:** Can confirm. He fell asleep watching movies.

 **pidgeotto:** then what happened to my glasses

 **romeme:** it was Jerry

 **lanceylance:** bum bUM BUMMMMMMM

 **shayaway:** and the demon took pidges glasses why?

 **mattress:** demons need to see too theyre people

 **t.shirogane:** They’re really not…?

 **pidgeotto:** the demon didn’t take my glasses bc the demon doesnt exist

 **pidgeotto:** ughhhhh mom mustve moved them again

 **hunkindonuts:** MOVING ON lance what does u being with the brooms mean?

 **lanceylance:** closet

 **alluring:** alone?

 **lanceylance:** nope keith is here with me he had a free period

 **lanceylance:** i told him to take a nap and he did

 **mattress:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **t.shirogane:** That’s good. Thank you Lance. 

 **lanceylance:** no prob bob

 **t.shirogane:** It’s Shiro…

 **lanceylance:** …right

 **adamnshame:** He’s adorable. 

 **mattress:** i love my boyfriend bob

 **t.shirogane:** My name’s not Bob?? 

 **hunkindonuts:** lance i told blaytz ur being gay in a closet w keith

 **lanceylance:** OEHEOENEONSISNSOSJSJ

 **shayaway:** he’s not wrong tho

 **lanceylance:** SHUTT

 **hunkindonuts:** we’re not doing much so you didn’t miss anything 

 **shayaway:** wait no thats not true 

 **shayaway:** you missed the TA showing up briefly

 **lanceylance:** we have a TA in english? 

 **hunkindonuts:** APPARENTLY NOW WE DO 

 **hunkindonuts:** he’s a weird dude— really tall with long hair 

 **shayaway:** i think his name was legolas

 **hunkindonuts:** no he looked like legolas and his name started with an l but he wasn’t named legolas

 **alluring:** …lotor?

 **mattress:** u know legolas?

 **romeme:** … 

 **alluring:** sure 

 **lanceylance:** whats he like?

 **alluring:** bad news...how did he get accepted as a TA

 **romeme:** his father is zarkon it shouldn’t be too hard

 **alluring:** but his father hates him

 **romeme:** tru

 **t.shirogane:** I don’t know what’s going on. 

 **romeme:** ughhh nothing can we move on from loturds crusty ass?

 **lanceylance:** kdbeieneiEkdnwonsoEOENWOBSOANSJSN

 **lanceylance:** hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh keith woke up brb

 **mattress:** sounds like pure gay panic™ to me 

 **adamnshame:** Can relate.

 **t.shirogane:** Iconic.

 **kogayne:** bröther the lämps buy me some lämps for möthman 

 **lanceylance:** lsbeisnsisnkwsnksnsj

 **t.shirogane:** (Sigh)

 

 

**olnymadreams > lanceylance**

**olnymadreams:** don’t act sly i saw you and keith come out that closet

 **olnymadreams:** what did you do to that closet’s poor poor interior

 **olnymadreams:** the poor janitor that has to clean up after you two 

 **olnymadreams:** STOP! IGNORING! ME! BINCH!

 **lanceylance:** oseneindownsoenskjsoeneje

 **lanceylance:** we didnt do ANYTHING

 **olnymadreams:** you look like you slept in there

 **lanceylance:** n O

 **olnymadreams:** oh shit lmao wait i meant napped 

 **olnymadreams:** keith was yawning and looked distracted and u both had bed head and wrinkly clothes

 **olnymadreams:** how badly did u gay panic? 

 **lanceylance:** SO YOU AND PLAX THEN HUH

 **olnymadreams:** widhowneosnwksnsnsn

 **lanceylance:** H A 

 **olnymadreams:** OK LISTEN,

 **lanceylance:** YOU WANT TO HOOOOOLD HER AND U WANT TO KIIIIIISS HER AND U WANT TO DAAAATE HER 

 **olnymadreams:** SHUT UP FIEND 

 **lanceylance:** LMAO KARMA IS A BITCH 

 **olnymadreams:** ur a binch binch

 **lanceylance:** fuq u

 **olnymadreams:** no tHANKS NOT INTERESTED

 **lanceylance:** ppfffffFFFF

 **olnymadreams:** NE WAYS I DID HAVE A REASON TO TEXT 

 **lanceylance:** awwww u missed me? 

 **olnymadreams:** hush u 

 **olnymadreams:** rolo talked to me and wanted to ask me out 

 **lanceylance:** ew

 **olnymadreams:** right?

 **olnymadreams:** i said no and so he got angry

 **olnymadreams:** said some nastea things about you

 **olnymadreams:** and he mightve also seen u and keith get out the closet

 **olnymadreams:** soooooo hes jealous and angry

 **lanceylance:** greaaaaaaaaat 

 **olnymadreams:** im sorry lance :(

 **lanceylance:** no ur fine

 **lanceylance:** thanks for telling me

 **olnymadreams:** of course hon <3 

 **lanceylance:** <3

 

 

**gane family**

**t.shirogane:** Alright brat.

 **t.shirogane:** I got you something.

 **t.shirogane** has sent (1) photo

 **kogayne:** w…

 **kogayne:** fairy lights?

 **adamnshame:** They look better than the lamps.

 **kogayne:** alfbeksnkensoenskeniene

 **kogayne:** ok yeah

 **kogayne:** i can work with these 

 **kogayne:** thanks gays!

 

 

**kogayne > lanceylance**

**kogayne:** i got fairy lights

 **kogayne:** you got blankets and pillows

 **kogayne:** and ill bring some snacks from 7eleven 

 **lanceylance:** keith…

 **lanceylance:** blanket forts, fairy lights and a movie?

 **kogayne:** yes 

 **lanceylance:** y e s s s s

 **lanceylance:** what movie do you want to watch? 

 **kogayne:**...buzzfeed unsolved the möthman episode-

 **lanceylance:** sidhwonslwnsjsnsjsnsbsn

 **lanceylance:** OK SKDBEOSNSKNSKSNSNS

 **kogayne:** y e e t

 **lanceylance:** aidhekdnsinsksdnns

 **lanceylance:** do you need a ride?

 **kogayne:** nah i’ll just borrow shiro’s car

 **lanceylance:** ok cool im setting up the fort

 **kogayne:** and im omw!!

 **lanceylance:** <3

 **kogayne:** <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OHMYGOD THIS IS SO LATE BUT I HAD NO MOTIVATION TO WRITE THIS AND NO IDEAS—i’m a horrible writer and i should be ashamed lmao
> 
> ANYWAYS TEA this chapter has a lot of tea from keith still being upset with pidge, to lotor’s arrival to rolo’s jealousy and uhhhh yeah just enjoy my crappy work bls ;n;


	12. happy removal day tumor baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a...lot happens in this chapter but also not that much

**möthman**

**lanceylance:** GOOOOOOOOD MORNING EVERYONE

 **alluring:** no-

 **alluring:** that- thats my thing

 **lanceylance:** shush its my thing for today

 **alluring:** …

 **romeme:** rip lance it was nice knowing you

 **mattress:** rip

 **shayaway:** rip

 **kogayne:** no-

 **lanceylance:** SO I HOPE A CERTAIN SOMEONE HAD A WONDERFUL NIGHT FULL OF GOOD DREAMS AND WELL DESERVED SLEEP

 **kogayne:** lance-

 **lanceylance:** BECAUSE ON THIS DAY

 **kogayne:** lance-

 **mattress:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **lanceylance:** ON OCTOBER 23

 **kogayne:** l a n c e

 **lanceylance:** WE CELEBRATE A JOYOUS OCCASION  

 **kogayne:** hhhhhngh

 **lanceylance:** THE BIRTH OF KEITHEK AKIRA KOGANE

 **lanceylance** has named the chat **happy birthday kira!**

 **kogayne:** aidhwisbsjanahh

 **shayaway:** awww this is so wholesome

 **shayaway:** happy birthday keith

 **kogayne:** akdbejsaksn t ahnk-

 **romeme:** hap birf

 **kogayne:** nnnnnnn thankyou

 **mattress:** HAPPY REMOVAL DAY TUMOR BABY

 **adamnshame:** Why?

 **mattress:** why not uwu

 **adamnshame:** Happy Birthday, Keith.

 **hunkindonuts:** happy birthday!!!

 **alluring** : happy day of birth keith!

 **pidgeotto:** bappy hirthday

 **kogayne:** javeiwhsishsb

 **kogayne:** thankyou

 **t.shirogane:** BRÖTHER 

 **kogayne:** ohmygod

 **lanceylance:** aldhwidnwosnakahha

 **mattress:** OEHDWILANSJAJAHSWHHAH

 **adamnshame:** Pfft.

 **t.shirogane:** HÂPPŸ BÎTHDÂY BRÖTHĒR

 **kogayne:** s t op

 **lanceylance:** aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **t.shirogane:** BRÖTHER

 **kogayne:** n. o. 

 **lanceylance:** aidhwisbajahshajsjshh

 **shayaway:** lance fell out of his chair again

 **pidgeotto:** its what he deserves

 **t.shirogane:** HÃPPŸ NINETĒĒNTH

 **hunkindonuts:** that doesnt even look like a real word

 **adamnshame:** (Sigh) 

 **t.shirogane:** BRÖTHER YØU ARE AN ÜNGRATEFÜL LITTLE SHÍTE 

 **kogayne:** i need to focus on meth now

 **alluring:** meth

 **pidgeotto:** meth-

 **romeme:** METH ISHSISBSBS

 **mattress:** meth

 **kogayne:** math*

 **t.shirogane:** Bröther døn’t do mëth.

 **kogayne:** ┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°)╭∩╮

 **kogayne:** that was enough wholesomeness i need to gO PAY atTenTion to CLASS now

 **pidgeotto:** it was too much love for his little heart 

 **kogayne:** you would know 

 **lanceylance:** SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS TOSOTS SHOTS HSITS

 **pidgeotto:** this is fine :)

 

 

**pidgeotto > kogayne**

**pidgeotto:** i havent said sorry for what i did…

 **kogayne:** nope

 **pidgeotto:** yeah and well

 **pidgeotto:** im really sorry keith

 **pidgeotto:** i was a dick and i completely ignored your feelings and blamed you

 **pidgeotto:** and im R E A L L Y S O R R Y K E I TH

 **kogayne:** its fine

 **pidgeotto:** really?

 **kogayne:** yeah youre getting haunted by jerry and im fine 

 **pidgeotto:** im n O T getting haunted by jerry aidbsisbsjsj

 **kogayne:** didnt your glasses disappear?

 **pidgeotto:** couldve been baebae

 **kogayne:** the pictures in your room keep falling down

 **pidgeotto:** the tape is bad

 **kogayne:** and you keep jumping everytime lance touches you 

 **pidgeotto:** dont like being touched

 **kogayne:** its more than that though you look scared 

 **pidgeotto:** im F I N E

 **kogayne:** sure jan

 **pidgeotto:** aidhwisnwoaosn

 **pidgeotto:** who A R E you and what have you done with keith? 

 **kogayne:** who’s keith? 

 **kogayne:** im jerry :)

 **pidgeotto:** fuck off

 **kogayne:** you BLOCKED ME

 **kogayne:** im whezzing oidge reallt???

 **kogayne:** aofbwosnwoahwisnjsoq

 

 

**happy birthday kira!**

**pidgeotto** has sent (1) video attachment

 **t.shirogane:** Is that thumbnail Lance standing on the lunchroom table? 

 **lanceylance:** mayhaps 

 **kogayne:** why are you like this?

 **kogayne:** why do you have the urge to do these things?

 **lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ no reason 

 **lanceylance:** just feel like i need to appreciate the birthday boi

 **alluring:** im in class i cant open the video what is lance doing?

 **shayaway:** he stood on the lunchroom table and screamed “HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEITH KOGANE” 

 **pidgeotto:** and then proceeded to get keith up on the table and have the entire cafeteria to sing the birthday song 

 **mattress:** i stan an icon

 **t.shirogane:** The teachers allowed this?

 **lanceylance:** lmao no we barely escaped detention

 **romeme:**??? 

 **hunkindonuts:** Prorok came in to bring them down to detention but Lance grabbed Keith and booked it 

 **pidgeotto:** no one is selling them out and prorok has no proof that they did anything so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 **lanceylance:** seeeee we’re fineeeee

 **kogayne:** except now we’re stuck hiding out in the broom closet

 **t.shirogane:** I’m going to get a headache before tonight I really need to go. 

 **hunkindonuts:** lance u better come to loturds class

 **lanceylance:** uhm excuse me that’s blaytz’s class still

 **lanceylance:** but dont even worry ill be there

 **lanceylance:** cant wait to finally meet this lotwhore dude uwu

 

 

**NO MULLETS ALLOWED**

**t.shirogane:** So everyone knows what they’re doing after school?

 **alluring:** yeah

 **hunkindonuts:** yea!!

 **romeme:** yes 

 **shayaway:** i doooo~

 **pidgeotto:** hell yeet

 **lanceylance:** MY LONGEST YEA BOII YET

 **mattress:** yes

 **mattress:** but just in case

 **mattress:** can we go over it one more time? i forgot uwu

 **pidgeotto:** this is why mom doesnt fucking love you

 **mattress:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **adamnshame:** The plan is you, Shiro and I all go out to get Keith’s present and bring it back in working condition 

 **mattress:** yeet

 **t.shirogane:** Hunk volunteered to bake the birthday cake. 

 **hunkindonuts:** YESSSS!!

 **shayaway:** youre adorable

 **hunkindonuts:** aidhwowksheownsk

 **pidgeotto:** ur on thin fuckin ice hunay

 **shayaway:** aowheowsnwkhwjwjs

 **hunkindonuts:** IEEHAKSBAISBSKSB

 **adamnshame:** (Sigh) 

 **t.shirogane:**...Allura, Romelle and Shay are on decorating duty. 

 **mattress:** ha

 **lanceylance:** he said duty

 **mattress:** duty- 

 **lanceylance:** :O DRIFT 

 **mattress:** DRIFT! 

 **pidgeotto:** you’re both terrible human beings

 **adamnshame:** Pidge is setting up a movie playlist since they know all of Keith’s favorite movies 

 **pidgeotto:** (⌐■_■) yo

 **romelle:** alfhwidnwoshwosbh

 **lanceylance:** AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII 

 **lanceylance:** E AYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 

 **lanceylance:** WILL BE DISTRACTING KEITH AFTER THE BELL SO YEET 

 **romeme:** how do you plan on doing that? hummm??

 **lanceylance:** i have my ways™

 **mattress:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **lanceylance:** ┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°)╭∩╮ 

 **pidgeotto:** that looks more of like a dick than a middle finger

 **lanceylance:** airowbsiwbsoqnsishao

 **lanceylance:** N O

 **hunkindonuts:** PIDGE WHY

 **alluring:** why

 **pidgeotto:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **t.shirogane:** SO DOES EVERYONE KNOW WHAT THEY NEED TO DO NOW? 

 **t.shirogane:** MATT? 

 **t.shirogane:** MATT

 **adamnshame:** I got him-

 **mattress:** OW WHY DID ADAM THROW A PILLOW AT ME 

 **alluring:** grow up, it was just a pillow

 **mattress:** ur mom is a pillow

 **alluring:** yes

 **t.shirogane:** Did you get what you’re supposed to do?? Matt??

 **mattress:** yes

 **t.shirogane:** Good- 

 **lanceylance:** AAAAAAAA THERES THE BELL GOTTA BLAST 

 **hunkindonuts:** CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE

 **shayaway:** WAIT BUT WE HAVE HOMEWORK FROM ENGLUSH REMEMBER?

 **lanceylance:** LOTURD AINT MY REAL TEACHER HE CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF

 **shayaway:** ITS WORTH A CHUNK OF OUR GRADE YOU DIP

 **lanceylance:** SORRY IM BUSSY IVE GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO

 **hunkindonuts:** itll be okay homework is due next week anyways

 **shayaway:** i know but i dont want to forget and have it not done

 **alluring:** if we finish decorating early i can help with english?

 **shayaway:** worhwosnwkdhwj yes bls-

 **alluring:** then get over here faster and lets finish

 **shayaway:** YEET

 **lanceylance:** SHAY IF YOU DO TAKE A PIC AND SEND- 

 **shayaway:** NO FUCK HW RIGHT?

 **lanceylance:** :( 

 **shayaway:** fine

 **lanceylance:** :)

 **t.shirogane:** Lance. Keith-

 **lanceylance:** R I G HT

 

 

**lanceylance > kogayne**

**lanceylance:** hey do you have a costume for wednesday?

 **kogayne:** no why?

 **lanceylance:** for halloween

 **kogayne:** no… why???

 **lanceylance:** oh shoot i forgot to invite you sodhwisnwjah

 **kogayne:** yea-

 **lanceylance:** well uhhhh

 **lanceylance:** im taking my neice and nephew trick-or-treating tomorrow and i wanted to know if you wanted to come with me

 **kogayne:** like… babysitting?

 **lanceylance:** yeah…

 **kogayne:** ok sure i’ll come with you

 **lanceylance:** y e s aidhwidbeksn

 **lanceylance:** OKAY 

 **lanceylance:** so we need costumes then-

 **kogayne:** i have a costume…

 **lanceylance:** keith the orange shirt with ‘COSTUME’ written on it does NOT qualify as a costume

 **kogayne:**...i have my ghost hoodie that says boo 

 **lanceylance:** aixhwisn n O

 **kogayne:** lance i dont want a costumeeee

 **lanceylance:** KEITHHHHHHH

 **kogayne:** LANCEEEEEEE

 **lanceylance:** KIRAAAAAAAAAA

 **kogayne:** widhwodneosbi is sneine

 **lanceylance:** we need to get into the halloween spirit and get a costume 

 **kogayne:** no

 **lanceylance:** keith

 **kogayne:** nope 

 **lanceylance:** f i n e 

 **lanceylance:** but i will be getting a costume so i still want you to come with me

 **kogayne:** ok

 **lanceylance:** meet me in the parking lot?

 **kogayne:** omw

 **lanceylance:** oh and we’re stopping by jack in the box on the

 **kogayne:** wh- why? 

 **lanceylance:** i want curly fries + buttermilk

 **kogayne:** sounds disgusting

 **kogayne:** i want a milkshake

 **lanceylance:** n o you cant have milkshakes

 **kogayne:** milkshake or death

 **lanceylance:** you misspelled and*

 **kogayne:** sorry i cant hear you over my craving for milkshakes

 **lanceylance:** no

 **kogayne:** lance its my birthday-

 **lanceylance:** wh- YOU CANT JUST PULL THE BIRTHDAY CARD ON ME

 **kogayne:** why not?

 **lanceylance:** special boyfriend privileges

 **kogayne:** ill give you a kiss for a milkshake

 **lanceylance:** don diwlaodbwosnsjsn wksw wja 

 **lanceylance:**...slushees

 **kogayne:** deal

 **lanceylance:** DABS

 **kogayne:** ive changed my mind

 **lanceylance:** NOPE TOO LATE IM RIGHT HERE

 **kogayne:** about time

 

 

**NO MULLETS ALLOWED**

**lanceylance** has sent (2) photos

 **pidgeotto:** are- are you two at 7eleven?

 **lanceylance:** hell yeah my dude

 **lanceylance:** we’ve already been once so this is our second time 

 **alluring:** lance that’s unhealthy

 **lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **lanceylance:** so are you guys done setting up?  

 **lanceylance:** bc id like to celEBRATE

 **hunkindonuts:** CAKE IS DONE AND ITS PERFECTLY MILK FREE FOR KEITH BUT STILL REALLY REALLY SUGARY 

 **mattress:** ok well we got our gift in the garage and it’s in perfect condition and v v clean 

 **adamnshame** has sent (1) photo

 **shayaway:** oh my god its so red and shiny

 **lanceylance:** hes going to love it

 **t.shirogane:** LANCE DO NOT SHOW HIM THE BIKE

 **lanceylance:** you mean u dont want me to spoil keith’s bday present that he’s only wanted for years now?

 **t.shirogane:** Touché-

 **lanceylance:** thought so

 **lanceylance:** so we can come back?

 **adamnshame:** Yeah everyone’s ready

 **alluring:** don’t forget the secret knock when you come in we want to surprise him!

 **mattress:** wait how long are we going to be waiting for the special knock? 

 **mattress:** and what is this secret knock?

 **pidgeotto:** ohmyfucking god ur an actual moron 

 **mattress:** yeah-

 **t.shirogane:** It’s the- the uhh- Dun dun dundundun. Dun dun! 

 **shayaway:** oh yeah i bet that really helped

 **mattress:** i got it!

 **hunkindonuts:**...you did?

 **adamnshame:** Good job babe!!

 **lanceylance:** so keith and i are on the way now

 **alluring:** focus on the road lance

 **lanceylance:** its a red light ive got time

 **lanceylance:** also we have something we want to share with you guys when we get there so yeet 

 **pidgeotto:** (squints)

 **lanceylance:** oK GEENLIGHRT BEYE

 

 

**happy birthday kira!**

**pidgeotto:** i fucking called it- 

 **alluring:** congrats klance on finally getting over your pining and going out!

 **mattress:** oooOOO GET SOME LANCE

 **lanceylance:** oehruekebejs shUtTT

 **mattress:** ;^)

 **adamnshame:** I’m happy for you Keith and Lance! 

 **hunkindonuts:** do i finally get to sleep and not listen to lance’s pining

 **lanceylance:** S T O P 

 **romeme:** so i guess some people aren’t that oblivious

 **hunkindonuts:** no they were still dancing around the subject

 **shayaway:** awww i ship klance 

 **kogayne:** i cant believe you guys did all that for me

 **t.shirogane:** Keith, or course we did. We love you.

 **lanceylance:** WHOLESOME TIME?

 **hunkindonuts:** aww keith you’re great and awesome and really brave and i think you deserve a lot more than you get

 **mattress:** keith i love you man- you’re like a brother to me but not quite idk how to define our relationship

 **shayaway:** keith you’re an amazing person and an amazing friend and i cant wait to see where we’re headed next in our friendship

 **romeme:** keith ur like a cousin i never knew i didn’t have but really want bc ur cool and edgy—oh and bandor says happy birthday

 **adamnshame:** Keith you’re a great kid and I love you. You’re my family along with Shiro and I couldn’t imagine a day without you there in the mornings to eat breakfast with Shiro and I or our dinner discourse and just-continue being amazing kiddo.

 **kogayne:** akfbwosbwoshwoshsubseibsisw 

 **kogayne:** oh mygof stop-

 

 

**t.shirogane > kogayne**

**t.shirogane:** Keith you’re my little brother. You may have been annoying and stole my things and my friends and my clothes and hobbies but watching you try to grow up and be like me it- it was so sweet and cute that I couldn’t be mad at you for it. You’d give me these big puppydog eyes and I just couldn’t get mad or say no- 

 **t.shirogane:** And then the accident happened and our parents died and I was in a coma and I almost lost you. It was so hard Keith-so hard to deal with everything at the time. With college and our dead parents and a prosthetic and hospital bills and the papers everything was just piling and piling and piling and I didn’t know if I could do it

 **t.shirogane:** But you were always waiting by my side in the hospital—you were the first person I saw when I woke up from my coma. You were always helping and by my side and I knew that I had to do this somehow. For you. Because I couldn’t lose you.

 **t.shirogane:** I love you Keith. We may not be blood related but you’re my brother and I love you.

 **kogayne:** yyou asshile img cruig a nd im hoep you tknow thays this is entirely  kyur fault

 **kogayne:** i love you too

 

 

**lanceylance > kogayne**

**lanceylance:** we’ve only been dating for…a little less than a month now and it’s been the best less than a month that i’ve ever had. keith’s you’re so handsome and smart and brave and funny and adorable and...i think i love you 

 **kogayne:** lance W HAT

 **lanceylance:** listen i-

 **lanceylance:** we’ve known each other for sO LONG its- ive lost count of how long we’ve known eachother. and we may have started off as “rivals” in the beginning but somehow we were became friends and somehow one upping each other became teasing one another and somehow rivalry turned into friendly competition and somehow we were best friends and partners in crime and..

 **lanceylance:**...and i had this huge gay crush on you but i was so confused with my sexuality and i just- i was scared to admit that maybe i liked guys too

 **lanceylance:** so i tried dating other guys to see and yeah-i was really bi for guys-but i was just so caught up with you. the way you smiled and my heart skipped a beat or the way you laughed and i felt like i was on cloud fucking nine. you were always there but so out of reach and-and when i came out you were dating rolo

 **lanceylance:** i was so jealous and its dumb but this fucking asshole of a man gets to hold you and kiss you and make you smile and laugh and give you the world but he takes it for granted and uses and hurts you and i—i was upset and more than relieved when you told me kosmo attacked him

 **lanceylance:** but you had just broken up so i didn’t want to be that guy and ask you out no matter how badly i wanted to. and that was around the time i started football and met nyma and people were saying we would be a cute couple so we dated ig just because “sure why not? people want to see us together we can try this” but i just 

 **lanceylance:** i wanted it to be you. and the more i was with nyma the more i wanted it to be you. you who i was holding and telling jokes you and using really bad pick up lines on 

 **lanceylance:** we weren’t dating but i was falling in love

 **lanceylance:** i love you keith kogane 

 **kogayne:** fuc k 

 **kogayne:** i…

 **lanceylance:** you don’t have to say it back. i know maybe youre not ready but i need you to know… i cant keep pushing it aside because im scared 

 **kogayne:** im cru i ng

 **kogayne:** i

 **kogayne:** lance youre so sood ans a im wso whappt yourb my boyfri br and ans i really liek oyou 

 **kogayne:** i want tot hokd you xan tou come hwree?

 **lanceylance:** im omw

 **kogayne:** <33 

 **lanceylance:** i love you too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is seven days late but i was swamped in schoolwork and studying so even if i wanted to get it done on time i wasn’t able to—but hey better late than never i always say! so happy belated birthday to keith kogane
> 
> also big thanks to my nibling for editing this chapter when i really didn’t feel like it—and now it’s 3am so i am going to b E D lmao


End file.
